Is He Hot Or Not? 10 Valentine And Anti-Valentine Gifts For Men That Express How You Really Feel

I don't think women should over-express their love on Valentine's Day; that's for men to do. Besides, how many women are with the men "of their dreams" on this holiday?  You may be dating (or married to) a dude you're just not that crazy about.  Maybe there's a guy around you'd like to receive your true thoughts after he broke up with you.  From Valentine gift number 10 to Anti-Valentine gift number 1, these 10 unusual gifts are sure to express your true feelings.

 

Valentine's Gift Number 10: Let's Play Doctor Sexy Game

This guy is very close to being the man of your dreams.  He's funny, smart, talented... many things you like, but he's not very... physical.  He needs a little encouragement.  The Let's Play Doctor game is a great gift to get him motivated in your direction, if you know what I mean.  Go ahead, read him some of the games... if you dare!  There are 40 role-playing games in this book, which does have a sense of humor, even about itself.

 



Sample scenarios from Let's Play Doctor!Sample scenarios from Let's Play Doctor!

 

 

Valentine's Gift Number 9: The Magic Wand Remote Control

Maybe he's way too all over you? Best to get him interested in something else, and there's not a man I know who can resist a remote control.  This one, in the form of a Magic Wand - a là Harry Potter - controls 13 electronics gadgets, from a TV to a vacuum cleaner (hint).  It's very cool;  it even learns by touch from your current remote controls!  Remotes are serious business for men; and this Magic Wand Remote Control is serious!

 

 

 

Watch this short You-Tube video.  

 

 

 

Valentine's Gift Number 8:  Sex Panther Cologne

It's illegal in nine countries. From the hit film, Anchorman, comes a real bottle of Sex Panther Cologne, without the panther.  Actually, this cologne is said to smell "not that bad."

Sex Panther is just what Valentine Number 8 needs.  He's got all the goods, but he still has them on the market.  The cologne will put him to the test.  Hopefully, he'll be smart enough to get the message, or you should move him down to number three or two.

 

 

You've got to see this 1-minute Anchorman cut, with Will Ferrell and Paul Rudd, if you don't understand why the Sex Panther cologne is such a big hit!

 

 

 

Valentine's Gift Number 7: Sneakiest Uses For Everyday Things 

He'll definitely figure you're not into torrid lovemaking if you give him a Sneakiest Uses book.  This is the third book of the series by Cy Tymony. It covers the romantic topics:  How to Make a Boomerang with a Business Card, Convert a Pencil into a Microphone, Make Animated Origami, Turn a TV Tray Into A Giant Robot, and Create Alternative Energy.

 

  
 

Valentine's Gift Number 6: Electronic Rock Guitar Shirt

He's a clown, an extrovert.  He loves to play and that's why he'll love this Electronic Rock Guitar Shirt  So what if he's not the best listener?  He will now have a cool shirt!

 

 

Don't believe that you can play this shirt?  Watch this!

 

 

 

Valentine's Gift Number 5:  Lutèce - Wallpapergames

Tired of his crazy mind games? Let him go through his own maizes with some bathroom wallpaper and several colored marking pens.  Wallpapergames are available from 5.5 Designers.

 

 

 

 

Valentine's Gift Number 4: Onion Ring Mints

We're getting close to anti-Valentine territory now.  Mints that taste like onion rings.  Nothing in them remotely resembles a mint or an onion ring (glucose, maltodextrin, magnesium stearate, artificial onion ring flavoring, and titanium dioxide!), but he may never realize that.  Oniony flavor and breath from Onion Ring Mints.

 

 

 

Valentine's Gift Number 3: The Guide for Guys: An Extremely Useful Manual for Old Boys and Young Men

It is a great book for a young man, no doubt about it.  But The Guide for Guys might just be considered a kiss-off by a presumed valentine, with topics like 'how to make a good first impression' and 'how to change directions on the dance floor,' he might think you would prefer a more mature man.

 

 

 

Valentine's Gift Number 2: Foot Alignment Socks

And he does have some ugly feet!  You always hated those big crooked toes.  When given on Valentine's day, the Foot Alignment Socks say, "Be gone!  And furthermore, go fix your ugly feet."

 

 

 

Valentine's Gift Number 1: Lucky Dog Sh*t From France

This gift needs no explanation, except you will have to contact Atypik, the French design house, to see how to get one of these unmistakeably blunt anti-Valentine's gifts.

 

 

 

 

 

(Boomer Babe loves anti-Valentines Day! Check out her previous columns, 10 Anti-Valentines Gifts That Speak Volumes About Love, A Deadly Glass For Your Bloody Anti-Valentine, and The 10 Hottest... Er... Coolest Anti-Valentine Gifts.)

 

 Keeping you posted...

 

 

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