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11 Ads To Disgust & Disturb You

 What is it with marketing people?  Until recently I thought that us writers had the corner on being insane.  Having worked in both film and television, I can pretty much say that the writer is the most crazy person on set (aside from some actors-but they're of a different species altogether).

However, after taking a look at these ads, I'm starting to wonder exactly how far advertising firms will go before they actually discover a deep-end to go off of.

I'm gonna start off gentle.  But trust me... this ride's gonna get worse.

 1. Hyundai

A little voice in my head tells me that my divorce would have never happened if I had a tongue like that...A little voice in my head tells me that my divorce would have never happened if I had a tongue like that...

 I was once relegated to the back seat of a convertible while my (now ex-) wife's aunt's dog rode shotgun.  That dog had a tongue akin to what you see above.  And the amount of drool that flapped out of that tongue, whipped through the wind, and smacked me in the face could be measured in gallons.

 

2. Concordia Children's ServicesWell... This ad could explain the child obesity issues here in the United States...Well... This ad could explain the child obesity issues here in the United States...

 Um... Yuck.  I don't really have a problem with the children suckling on the pig.  But everything's just so... dirty!

In small print the ad states, "If you don't help feed them, who will?"

Arnold from Green Acres, that's who.

 

3. Lifebuoy SoapI don't like my muffins to bite back...I don't like my muffins to bite back...

 As disturbing as this ad is (particularly with the tagline, "You eat what you touch"), I can't help but find the hamster-muffin cute.  You can just imagine the little chirpy voice coming out of it, asking you to read it today's headlines.  It would be a happy hamster-muffin, as its generous teeth would insure that you wouldn't dare try to eat it.

 
Comments
Feb 12, 2009
by T Goodman

You're not kidding!

great finds, John... I guess....

Feb 12, 2009
by John P. Barker
John P. Barker's picture

LOL

I'm gonna have nightmares... heh...

Feb 12, 2009
by Anonymous

5. McDonald's

That is too much!!! too much!!!

I hate Baby Mc Donaalds!!!!

Feb 12, 2009
by John P. Barker
John P. Barker's picture

Yeah... Baby McDonalds is scary...

All I can see is that critter that Craig T. Nelson puked up in Poltergeist 2--you know... the one the scurries under the bed.  Only this one has a clown face and a big knife... AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Feb 13, 2009
by Anonymous

Keimling Vegetarian Restaurant

Is that a pig eating a wolf?

Kidda

Feb 13, 2009
by Anonymous

Wonderful!

But don't feel bad about the clowns, John.

A study at Liverpool university a couple of years ago interviewed several thousand 12-20 year olds about clowns.

100% of respondends considered clowns frightening.
_100%_.

Clowns are frakking scary, man. It's official.

tumbleworld@gmail.com

PS: You just know that babyclown has a 12-inch stilleto knife hiding in its blankie...

Feb 13, 2009
by Anonymous

no offense

but your picture that you have when you post messages scares me a little.

Feb 13, 2009
by John P. Barker
John P. Barker's picture

LOL

All of your comments are great!  I'm glad that 100% of those surveyed find clowns scary.

And yep--that baby clown had a stilleto.  Rumor has it that the photographer has not been seen since snapping the shot--they just found the camera...

And yeah... my picture is scary/crazy.  But accurate--though I have more hair now...

Feb 13, 2009
by Anonymous

The could have done a better

The could have done a better job with the photoshop of the human's face on the veg. restaurant ad. WTH is with his face obviously chopped and then just a random tan colored boxed places underneath to cover the gap?

Feb 13, 2009
by J. Barker
J. Barker's picture

Yeah...

I noticed that too...  It sort'a looked like a strap went around his head...  Couldn't figure out what it was...

Feb 13, 2009
by Anonymous

the pig #2

is that a picture of the lady nursing her new-born octuplets??

Feb 14, 2009
by Anonymous

Playstation 2

I'll tell you what the most disturbing part of the last picture is: one woman drinking what could possibly be urine from a skull, the liquid then flows out of her ear and another woman drinks it from her ear.

Feb 14, 2009
by Anonymous

DrinkActSuccess.com

Just keep the consumers afraid with your FEAR BASED MEDIA, then they'll buy what you tell them.

What a joke.

Feb 15, 2009
by Anonymous

Fear Mongering and more

Guess these ads are cosidered "creativity at its best", or more realistically demented minds at work. Great example of mind control using fear as the decision maker.

Loved the pig comparison to Octupus mom. Never fear, she's not planning to date until her latest brood turns 18. Insanity at its best

Feb 16, 2009
by Anonymous

PS2 Nipple Ad

Why is no one commenting on that last one. All I see is dark nipples coming through that woman in the front's shirt. Not to be outdone the very small women on the right has managed to squeeze a little nipple herself with that very bold right hand of hers. Me likey. I don't care what the whole "message" was. Girl on Girl in any context is always welcomed round these parts.

Feb 16, 2009
by Anonymous

I didn't realize pigs ate

I didn't realize pigs ate coyotes...

Feb 17, 2009
by J. Barker
J. Barker's picture

Yeah...

... I didn't realize it either.  But from watching horror movies, I've found that pigs eat anything...  blech...