10 Best Beers with Balls of 2007

5. Westvleteren 12 - The Monk's Beer













The Westvleteren 12 beer brewed by Westvleteren monks pushes the envelope not only because of it's flavor and alcohol content, but because of the strictness under which it's produced. The Westvleteren Monks don't take no crap from no body when making their beer, and, despite their distributors nail biting, they take their time to craft a delicate beer that represents their dedication to brewing. And they're so successful at it that the Westvleteren 12 consistently ranks among the best beers in the world—even taking the #1 spot on BeerAdvocate.com —and there is even a black market for most of their ales. The Westvleteren 12 is so named due to its 12% ABV and it runs deep with rich aromas and tastes of cocoa, raisins and dates. Gotta find some way to stay entertained in the monastery, right?


4. BILK - The Weird Guy's Beer













Bilk. What do you think that means? If you guessed beer + milk...then you're right! Oh yes, a Japanese liquor store owner has fused beer with milk to make Bilk. What a name, right? The mix is roughly 30% milk and 70% beer, and was conceived to help alleviate the amount of overproduced milk in the region. The process of making Bilk doesn't differ much from that of regular brewing, and the result is actually quite similar to normal beer, but with a strong taste of milk and something fruity. Though only available in Japan, Bilk has been receiving a lot of media attention, and the beer is often sold out. If that keeps up, we might see it stateside yet.


3. Smoked Porter - The Hunter's Beer











As you may have gathered, the Smoked Porter from The Alaskan Brewing Company has an unconventional flavor mixed in with the normal brew of barley and hops. One would think that a smokey flavor would be intrusive in a beer, but this beer has actually won numerous awards and wowed audiences at beer festivals all over the country. They get their signature taste by taking selected malts prior to brewing and smoking them in small batches under carefully controlled conditions in a commercial food smoker using local alder wood. The resultant beer is definitely different, but good nonetheless, and they only produce a limited amount in vintage years, so start looking now if you want to try it.


2. Kelpie - The Salty Dog's Beer













Taking their cue from Scottish coastal and island farmers, Heather Ale Ltd. developed Kelpie, which is brewed with seaweed. Nearly 400 years ago, these farmers used seaweed beds to grow their barley crop, thus the resulting beer ingredient made for a beer with a distinct taste of the ocean. It caught on with locals and visitors alike, so Heather Ale Ltd. kept producing and it still remains a favorite of certain Scotsmen.


1. Utopia - The Extremist's Beer












This is easily the ballsiest beer on our list because of one simple fact: It has a 24% ABV, which rivals some liqueurs. Not carbonated and meant to be served at room temperature, Utopia is part of the Samual Adams Extreme Beer collection and has a warm sweet taste of vanilla, oak and caramel. But rest assured that this beer, who's ABV smashes records and gets stronger and stronger every year, is only meant for the serious beer drinker who knows a thing or two about the complexities of ales. Wine Enthusiast Magazine gave Utopia its highest rating back in 2003, but this beer still stands the test of time due to Sam Adam's dedication to quality brewing.


And there we have a stout list of a few beers that are guaranteed to tantalize and intrigue your taste-buds. As you've seen, they range from the weird to the wonderful (and maybe even worrisome), but they all deserve to be called a beer with balls.

Seth Plattner
Featured Blogger
InventorSpot.com Team


Oct 4, 2007
by grahamms


Very interesting article Seth.  Which of the 10 have you tried?

Oct 4, 2007
by Seth Plattner

Well, I tried to be as

Well, I tried to be as thorough in my tastings as possible, but some of these beers are a little on the hard-to-get side.  Like Kelpie?  I only wish I could try that one!  As far as the easy-to-gets, the Golden Touch, the EKU, La Terrible and the Smoked Porter are all easy to find and ones that I have tried.  My dad actually lives in Alaska so I've had the Smoked Porter a number of times. 

 The one I could probably get, but am a little scared of is the Utopia! That 24% ABV is a little intimidating!  Maybe I'll muster some courage and give it a try sometime soon...

Oct 4, 2007
by Anonymous (not verified)

Good list of beers.  Could

Good list of beers.

 Could use some grammar editing though.

Oct 5, 2007
by Lukeaduke (not verified)

I'm not sure...

Samichlaus has no business being on any list with the word "Best" in the title. I used to work in a belgian tavern, and when someone wanted a disgusting beer to play a joke on their friends I'd give them a Samichlaus. There are many other better tasting beers with high alcohol content like Dogfish Head's 90 and 120 Minute IPAs (9% and 20% ABV respectively). I don't even like IPAs but they are better than that Samichlaus swill. It's the worst, I mean it, buy one and find out for yourself!!

Oct 5, 2007
by cirby (not verified)


Kelpie is a great beer, with an interesting flavor.

Find it and try it.


Oct 5, 2007
by Anonymous (not verified)

you can order some of 

you can order some of  these beers online to ship to your house at



Oct 5, 2007
by Jeff Bearer (not verified)

The Utopias is $150 a

The Utopias is $150 a bottle, so while you are working up the courage, work up some savings as well. If you want to try a stratospherically strong beer at a more reasonable price, check out some of the Dog Fish Head ones like World Wide Stout, Fort, Raison De' Extra, and 120 Minute IPA.

You don't know how bummed I am that there is one beer on the list that I have not had, but then again, I'm not going to drive to Illinois for Pizza Beer.

Ballsiest Beer not on the list? (and not extremely rare) Lets go with Alesmith Speedway Stout.

Oct 5, 2007
by Anonymous (not verified)

Unibroue not French

Unibroue is a brewer from the province of Quebec (Canada). The Frenchies make win not beer!

Oct 5, 2007
by Goat (not verified)

Try these

This is a pretty decent list of fine inebriators. Personally , I feel Old Foghorn (13% ABV) from the Anchor Brewing Company should have made the list. Two others would be Maredsous 8 and Maredsous 10 from the Maredsous Abbey in Belgium.

Oct 5, 2007
by Anonymous (not verified)

The Utopias is $150 yeah

The Utopias is $150

yeah right go check eBay

its like $300

also try

stone barly wine style ale (10%)

launitas undercover shutdown ale (9.75%)

and hog heaven barly wine style ale (10.75%) (have load of hops)

also try all the tripple IPAs you can....

(yes im from nor cal......)

Oct 5, 2007
by Eddie Glick (not verified)

Ballsier beers

Dark Horse Double Crooked Tree IPA (13%+ ABV)Founders Devil Dancer Triple IPA (13% ABV, 110+ IBUs)Three Floyds Dark Lord (too complex to explain)Surly Furious (death metal in a can)

Oct 8, 2007
by Nick Number (not verified)

some corrections, arranged by section number

10. There should be a space between "Dogfish Head's" and the comma preceding it. Was "clute or sniffer" intended to be "flute or snifter"?

9. The word "The" should not be capitalized in the phrase "Created in 2006, The beer".

8. There should not be an apostrophe in "meaning that it's flavor is rich and powerful".

7. "a robust beer, very sweet beer" would be less awkward if the first instance of "beer" were removed.

6. "dead-beat brother and senial grandfather" should be "deadbeat brother and senile grandfather".

5. "it's flavor and alcohol content" shouldn't have an apostrophe. "no body" should be "nobody". "distributors" should either be "distributor's" or "distributors'", depending on whether they have more than one. "and delicate beer" should be "a delicate beer".

1. "who's ABV smashes records" should be "whose ABV smashes records". "Sam Adam's dedication" should be "Sam Adams's dedication" (or "Sam Adams' dedication", depending on style).

Oct 14, 2007
by Hank (not verified)

Samiclaus is awful

Samiclaus is the worst beer I've ever tried - I don't see how it even made it onto this list.

Oct 22, 2007
by 3l1t3 (not verified)

@ some corrections

Why go around and point out every grammar error in a post? You need to get a life! You must lead one boring life and have no friends either. Most people who go around and correct posts are either, a teacher (which we all know has no life),or some loser who needs to feel like he or she is better than everyone by pointing out every little mistake they made.  How fucking pathetic!

Nov 2, 2007
by beerdistribution (not verified)


yeah but #1 beer maker sam adams is trying to sue my mayor, so screw em.
i'll go glasgowian with an 'AACH ME LADDIES!', and buy up #2's...

Nov 22, 2007
by Alenthusiast (not verified)

Midas Touch

Yes, Midas Touch is incredible indeed. I concur with the post re: spelling and punctuation. I was not aware that the grammar police were patroling the internet so ruthlessly!
Additionally, I reccommend Victory Brewing's Golden Monkey; Thirsty Dog Siberean Night, Bison Chocolate Stout, Aventinus(a German Wheat Dopplebock), and remember Life is too short to drink bad beer.

Jan 30, 2008
by JackH (not verified)

Sam Adams

Seth-What about Sam Adams Tripple Bock? I still have some 04 and 05 that are still nice;

Jan 30, 2008
by JackH (not verified)

Sam Adams

Make that '94 and '95....