The fine folks at Village Vanguard would like to wish each and every one of you a happy “St. Christmas”, whoever or whatever that is. In the spirit of the season, V-V is offering several dozen Christmas party costumes and accessories, some of which are a little odd … OK, a LOT odd. Check out ten of the oddest, and don't forget to suit up before playing any reindeer games!
1) Santa's Big Head Suit
See the head... be the head! The Santa's Big Head Suit is disturbing on a number of levels in regards to anatomical correctness from the placement of the arms to the delicate location of Old St. Nick's fluffy white beard. Far from being Christmas-y, this suit makes the wearer resemble the horrific spidery head-on-legs creature from The Thing. (bizarre Christmas costume image via Village Vanguard)
While you're drinking, dancing, drinking and downing chicken wings, poor old Santa remains wedged head-down in your Coming Down the Chimney Hat. Nice... who builds a roaring fire in the fireplace on Christmas Eve, anyway? (bizarre Christmas costume image via Village Vanguard)
3) Reindeer Superhero
This form-fitting, head-to-toe Reindeer Superhero costume is what you get when you lock a reindeer, Ultraman and a Mexican Wrestler into Seth Brundle's teleport device and flip the switch. Worst feature by far is the wickedly curved horn in the “tail” location... the parties you go to had better be standing room only. (bizarre Christmas costume image via Village Vanguard)
4) The Biggest Star
OK, say you've been given one magic Christmas wish and you're eager to make a great impression at the upcoming Christmas Eve party. You click your heels three times and say, “I wish I was the biggest star at the party!”... and thereby learn the lesson that one must be either be careful what they wish for or even more careful about how they express said wish. (bizarre Christmas costume image via Village Vanguard)
5) Basic Santa Man
There's always the guy who manages to ruin Christmas for the rest of us, and the “Basic Santa Man” is that guy. At least, I think it's a guy. It could possibly be Divine. Let's see... long blond hair, skirt, stockings, fashionable white pumps, close enough in my book! (bizarre Christmas costume image via Village Vanguard)
6) Reindeer Sack Dress
It's all fun & games until someone gets poked in the eye, and if you're the gal wearing this Reindeer Sack Dress when it happens, it's time to call the cops. It appears guys can wear this dress too, not that there's anything wrong with that. (bizarre Christmas costume image via Village Vanguard)
7) Goldmember Santa Suit
If you love gooooooold, and that's the way, uh huh, uh huh, you like it, then the Goldmember Santa Suit is the ideal way to have an Amsterdam good time this Christmas. Not TOO good of a time, however, as you don't want anyone giving you the goldfinger. (bizarre Christmas costume image via Village Vanguard)
8) Christmas Tree Dress/Suit
Guess who wins this battle of the sexes: the cute girl in the tasteful, reasonable, fashionably tailored Christmas Tree Dress or the guy on the right, whose Christmas Tree Dress (yes, it does appear to be a dress) is just the opposite? (bizarre Christmas costume image via Village Vanguard) Update: You can buy the Christmas Tree suit here.
9) Santa Ballerina Hat
This is... well, I have no idea what this is, besides an abomination. Village Vanguard's copy calls this constricting contraption a “Santa Ballerina Hat” and you've got the Santa character and what could possibly be a tutu but hey – a guy actually wearing a ballet tutu would look only slightly less ridiculous. Think Nutcracker Suite meets Alien chest-burster scene if you need a reference point. Me, I need a drink and it better not be eggnog. (bizarre Christmas costume image via Village Vanguard)
10) Reindeer Hat & Lederhosen Combo
The Reindeer Hat & Lederhosen Combo might be fine festive fare for your Cousin Sven from Svalbard but nobody else has any excuse – not even the Akvavit over-indulgence excuse applies here. Seriously, shorts & suspenders? Dude, you sleigh me. (bizarre Christmas costume image via Village Vanguard)
So much WIN from just one store! Imagine a Christmas party where ALL of the above Christmas costumes and accessories were worn – sort of like a Yuletide-themed Star Wars Cantina Scene. Best of all, no lamps need be de-shaded to provide guests with amusing headgear, and for that let's all be thankful... to Village Vanguard and St. Christmas, of course!