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10 Completely New Ways to Turn a Woman On

6) Old Way: Tell Her How Beautiful She Is
New Way: SHOW Her How Beautiful She Is

Portable Light StudioPortable Light Studio


There is someone for everyone, or so they say, and you certainly see something attractive in the woman in your life. She may not always agree with you. One day I may look in the mirror and see a superstar staring back at me. The next day, I wonder who that barbaric beast could possible be. When my husband tells me how beautiful I am, though, all negative notions go flying out the window. See, women are actually pretty easy. One way to visually give her evidence of her foxiness-level is to snap some well-crafted pictures of her. With the Portable Light Studio, you can even give her looks an added boost. This invention will provide the best possible lighting so your photos can let her best qualities shine through.


7) Old Way: Buy Her Sexy Lingerie
New Way: Buy Her TASTY Lingerie

Yummy Gummy BraYummy Gummy Bra


The gift of lingerie may actually be more of a favor to yourself, but she will still appreciate the gesture. A gift of lingerie tells her that you find her to be one sexy little number. Instead of choosing the usual French maid get-up or frilly teddy set, though, why not try something new and edible? The Gummy Bra will show her that you appreciate her natural (i.e. near naked) beauty while providing a nice little set up for yourself. Who else is going to help her out of those tasty undergarments?


8) Old Way: Give Her Sparkly Ring For Her Hand
New Way: Give Her Sparkly MOUSE For Her Hand

Bling Bling Computer MouseBling Bling Computer Mouse


Diamonds are a girl's best friend, right? I'll happily settle for a friendly acquaintance in a pretty crystal crested option. For the girl who is already dripping with jewels around her neck and wrists, there is something brand new you can give her to show she's your number one gal. The Bling Bling Computer Mouse is the newest alternative to your old jewelry stand-bys. This decorative yet useful tool will escort her around the Internet in style.


9) Old Way: Treat Her To Breakfast In Bed
New Way: Treat Her To A Tidy Breakfast In Bed

Bibbed Bed LinensBibbed Bed Linens


It seemed like a great gift at the time, I'm sure. My husband had kindly crafted a beautifully presented home-made meal served in bed. The vittles were tasty, indeed, but it was the aftermath that was slightly less savory: dishes dirtied, kitchen chaos and sheets in shambles full of crumbs. The kitchen mess is one thing since you expect food particles to spill out a bit from their source, but there is no reason to allow used grub a permanent home in the bedroom. The woman in your life will thoroughly appreciate your treat of breakfast in bed, but preemptively tend to the ensuing mess with a set of bibbed bed linens. This innovative product has the bib built right in, so she can gleefully grub without fear of the crumb-filled aftermath.


10) Old Way: Hold Her Door Open To Show Her You're A Gentleman
New Way: Cut Out Some Of Your 'Manly' Habits To Show Her You're A Gentleman

Executive Ball ScratcherExecutive Ball Scratcher


Nose-picking, gas-emitting and ball-scratching does not really scream gentleman to me. In fact, it yells, "Run! Get out of here! This guy is disgusting!" Men will be men even if that translates to boys will be boys. Men, in the company of other men, will commit the grossest acts a dainty lady like me could only nightmare of. I was raised in an all-female household where my sister and I would torment each other with your basic acts of verbal abuse. Thanks to my ten year old son, I am know learning the male species choose other, more physical-based, methods of torture. Grody gas-passing and odorous belch wars are commonplace in the social life of a ten year old boy. And these are just the wars between my husband and son! The smell of an all-boys' sleepover? Ugh! Show the woman in your life that you can act like a gentleman. You may not always be able to control those gas explosions, but show a little decorum. If you must scratch your nether region, try out the Executive Ball Scratcher. No one wants to touch the hand that has been exploring down below.


All women want is a little attention and to be regularly reminded that you care. Of course gifts are not the only way to turn a woman on, but it is actually one of the easiest ways for you. The true message here is to just keep her in mind and keep being creative in the ways you show her you care. That is the greatest aphrodisiac of all.

Lexi Schuh
Featured Blogger
InventorSpot.com

Comments
Nov 8, 2006
by Say No to Crack (not verified)

Flowers!?

Wow, those are the craziest flowers I've ever seen! I'm not sure what I would do if someone gave them to me ... although i've heard the Fundies, are well ... fun.

Jun 27, 2007
by Annick (not verified)

Let's start this off by

Let's start this off by saying that I'm a woman. A lesbian, in fact. Now maybe it's different for us queers, but I would hate any of these gifts. This looks more like a list of bargain-bin adult superstore products than anything romantic. Let's go through the list...

1. I prefer real flowers. In fact, we both garden.

2. We like to cuddle in bed. She's much more comfy than some warm furry thing.

3. That's just... lacking. Part of being a connaisseur is learning what goes with what. Having a pizza on the bottle is like guessing C on a multiple choice test.

4. We already love dark chocolate and don't need to spend an exorbant amount of money on faux detoxifiers

5. I don't need fabric around my ass to get that close.

6. If I don't feel hot, I don't want a retouched picture that says "you need to be digitally enhanced to look hot"

7. Gummy bra... sticky and fake. After eating that much gummy, I'd be more in the mood for the bathroom than the bedroom.

8. It's BLING. Seriously. BLING !

9. I made her crêpes suzette on our first night together. Flaming crêpes just doesn't work in bed, especially when you're wearing a plastic bib. Not to mention that unless there's some sort of super crumb-attracting field on that bib, they're still going to spill everywhere.

10. Just because it comes in a case, doesn't make it classy.

Jan 2, 2008
by Anonymous (not verified)

Agrees with the lesbian

I'm a straight woman, but I find all of these gifts tacky. It is always "The thought that counts". Doesn't seem like someone thinks much of a woman, lesbian or otherwise if she receives some crap like this list! Give me 1/2 the money in flowers...daffodils, carnations or roses and the rest can be in a nice, candlelit dinner at home.

Feb 14, 2008
by David A Wright in love cadacus upgraded (not verified)

preparing to resocialize and cadacus dating prep repent and clea

I woke up about 8 years ago. I have been praying and meditating on how to be more loving and truthful in loveving since I began...

A woman seemed to invite me to visit her church. I am glad... I have so many prayer arrays for surviving all sorts of stuff that to interact with her and her church it seems it would take years of study.

I have a bunch of extriemly sensitive mirror prayer arrays going and struggle with something that seems to stalk... (a vibe like dudes in a maternal mother who are interested in the loadstone effect being theirs) I don't really believe that is true in love though and try to work it out likie it never happened.)

I struggle with some of the strategies of the stalk effect... interference with life patterns... the local supermarket seemed to have issues after a stalk temper tantrum... I pray to open something good up...

People and places that I visit sometimes have issues... does it look like me?

To prepare I made a large body of writing solutions and ministered them in letters... where did they go... stalk envy?

Funny inuendo's like i did or said things not real... funny attitudes about what I am like... from who? Stalk effects...

This is not really true in love. The truth in love is that ther is no stalker and I don't need to protect people who I try to interact with from a stalker... The father's house will take care of it when I am mature enough...

I won't belive that there would be a pootananny effect from a stalkder funking things up to say someone is too smelly to interfere with other relations... I won't believe that there would be an exaggeration with bias for people make speculative comments by a stalker... I won't belive that a stalker would try to retaliate for me or in my name and say one was too dangerous...

Mirrors and loving solutions.

David
in love
Daw language

Mar 5, 2008
by Anonymous

pie

pie is good

Sep 6, 2008
by Anonymous

sucks!!!!

what the fucking hell is all this shit!

Sep 6, 2008
by Anonymous

this is an ad

its pretty obvious that this is just an giant advertisment

Nov 30, 2008
by Anonymous

????

I AM A WOMAN AND I AM NOT SO SURE THAT THIS WILL WORK. SOME WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT AND LIKE OTHER THINGS. I LOVE SIMPLE STUFF....NOTHING TOO GLAM OR HIGH PRICED. I LOVE SOMETHING THAT SAYS 'I KNOW YOU'. IF HE KNOWS I LOVE FLOWERS AND DINNER, THEN THATS WHAT HE SHOULD DO; IF HE KNOWS I WANT TO WATCH THE FOOTBALL GAMES AND HAVE A FAVORITE TEAM...MAYBE HE'LL BUY ME TICKETS TO GO SEE A GAME. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME SO HAVING A LIST THAT IS SUPPOSED TO FIT ALL WOMEN IS STUPID. IM NOT AT ALL KINKY AND WOULD HATE TO WEAR A GUMMY BRA...ON THE OTHER HAND I LOVE GUMMY CANDY,SO JUST GET ME A BAG OF CANDY AND A SEXY BRA.... SIMPLE