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4 Utterly Terrible Valentine’s Day Experiences and Gifts

Valentine's Day is here again, which means it's time to begrudgingly give your loved one an amazing experience for one day so he or she will be willing to stay with you for the other 364 days of the year. Because love is all about meeting, not exceeding, your partner's minimum expectations. Of course, these five gifts probably won't even do that.

 Terrible Gift - The Pizza Hut Tie the Knot Special

What's more romantic than a ring, a limousine ride, fireworks and flowers? A night including all of those aspects and -Pizza Hut pizza. Or at least, that's Pizza Hut's thought behind their $10,010 Tie the Knot package. Because nothing says, "I love you" like crappy pizza, dried-out breadsticks and flavorless cinnamon sticks. Alternatively, you could just arrange all of this on your own, save some money and be able to buy a decent dinner instead.

 Terrible Gift - 

A Tour of Brooklyn's Finest Wastewater Treatment Plant

Can you smell the love in the air? Not over the smell of raw sewage when you take a romantic Valentine's Day stroll through Brooklyn's Newtown Creek Wastewater treatment plant. What makes this sewage plant tour different from the other daily tours is that everyone who shows up receives a special Valentine's Day Hershey Kiss, which will probably be the last thing you'll want after wandering through a sewage plant. On the upside, it's sure to be a Valentine's date your partner will never forget...on the other hand, it will probably be your last date together.

Image courtesy of Flickr user Victoria Belanger

Terrible Gift - Name A Roach In After Your Sweetie

Want something cheap but memorable for your date this year? Why not name a roach after your date, courtesy of the Bronx Zoo. For only $10, you can name one of the zoo's 58,000 Madagascar hissing cockroaches after your sweetie. All proceeds will support the Wildlife Conservation Society, so at least you'll be insulting your guy or gal for a good cause.

If you really want to make a good impression, you can always throw in a $25 chocolate that is hand-painted to look just like a real hissing cockroach. Yummy!

Terrible Gift - Brief Jerky Meat Underwear

Edible underwear usually are somewhat like fruit roll ups, but let's face it, real men like meat more than fruit. To that end, why not make your own beef jerky underwear? These nutritious and delicious undies are just want you need to kick start your love life into overdrive. Because haven't you always wanted to say "eat my meat" literally.

Let's be honest, you probably won't be getting anyone you care about one of these for Valentine's Day, but they certainly will make any horrible gifts you get seem better by comparison.