The 6 Stages of Drunkenness in Japanese Cellphone Charms
St. Patrick's Day is traditionally a celebration of all things Irish, and it's become a worldwide phenomenon. Even Japan has gotten into the St. Paddy's spirit (and spirits), with annual parades taking place in Tokyo since 1991.
Of course, most people associate St. Patrick's Day with drinking - at least, it's one of the most convenient excuses for drinking there is. I thought to myself, how does this apply to Japan, where people don't look for excuses to drink. In fact, drunkenness in Japan, especially by the nation's overworked and under-appreciated office workers, has always been accepted and even indulged. This set of 6 "Drunken Salaryman" cellphone charms illustrates not only the affection Japanese have for these pillars of the economy, but at the same time reminds us that we're all human and act pretty much the same once we've had a few too many.
Stage 1 -- The Lecturing Drunk
There's nothing like alcohol to loosen the tongue, and if the tongue belongs to your inebriated boss, you'd best get comfortable and let him ramble on... and on... and on...
Stage 2 -- The Uninhibited Drunk
Once the tongue has been loosened, other things follow. Like clothing. Here, our red-faced, leering drunkard is getting into the swing of things by swinging his clothes across the room. Soon he'll be wearing nothing but a lampshade. Hopefully on his head.
Stage 3 -- The Angry Drunk
Over-reacting to some imagined slight, our beer-infused boss has stopped swinging his clothes and is ready to swing his fists. On a bright side, his aim is likely not what it used to be.
Stage 4 -- The Morose Drunk
Now too blitzed to babble, too sloshed to strip and too juiced to joust, the pickled partier regrets his actions of the evening (week, month, decade) and/or his wicked comb-over, and has begun sobbing into his sake.
Stage 5 -- The Barfing Drunk
We've all been there... and whether you're Driving The Porcelain Bus or Calling Ralph On The Big White Phone, it's not the Happy Place you thought you were en route to at the evening's start.
Stage 6 -- The Unconscious Drunk
The good thing about Stage 6 is that your friends no longer have to put up with your antics of the previous 5 stages. The bad thing is, you're likely to awaken much later in a strange place, with a strange smell, and possibly with a strange new tattoo. At least you're dressed for work...
Sound familiar? Yes, there's nothing like being wasted to bring us all down to the same common denominator. If you're a Japanese salaryman, though, at least you have good reason to believe that society appreciates you - even though you may be three sheets to the wind - and will refrain from scrawling obscene graffiti on your forehead in lipstick as you sleep it off in a public park.