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7 Father's Day Gifts For Those Who Wish They Were Adopted

Still looking for a Father's Day gift that can't possibly be seen as a term of endearment? Well then, you've come to the right place. Here are eight terrible gifts certain to give the right message -that you simply don't give a hoot about your old man.

Wingsuit

Nothing says "I want you to have a great day....and drop dead," quite like a suit that allows you to soar through the air after jumping from a plane without a parachute. Sure it's a crazy extreme sport, but your dad's likely not all that crazy and he's probably  too old for this sort of thing. That means even if he does use the thing right, he'll probably die of a heart attack in the process.

Designated Driver Kooler Club

 

For the dad who lives for both booze and golf, this "designated driver" is a great way to get drunk on the course without looking like a complete lush. It might not help his game, but it will certainly make him happier. And you can even give it to him with the UroClub so he'll have somewhere to "go" when he's had a few too many and can't make it back to the clubhouse.

Metal Baby Carriage

 

Perfect for the new, over-protective daddy, this machine-gun-equipped baby carriage can help keep the baby safe while letting daddy live out his Rambo fantasies. If nothing else, it certainly looks manlier than a pink carriage covered in ruffles.

George Foreman USB Grill

 

Is your dad a geek who can't cook? Finally, someone has solved the age-old problem of how to feed World of Warcraft dorks without ever making them leave their computer. Nerds can now connect their George Forman Grills into the USB of their computers. Simply pull the steak from the USB powered mini-fridge and grilling time is ready to go. Just don't let the grease drip on anything.

(It's a gag product if you couldn't tell already.)

Tailgate Companion

 

Sometimes the best gift for a man is actually something for his best friend. In this case though, the dog tailgate will certainly benefit all parties, your dad will love having access to grilling accessories, condiments and a bottle opener wherever he wanders, Rover will love all the positive attention he's getting and everyone else will love having your dad leave them alone asking people to get him beer.

Chocolate Guns and Ammo

 

Giving Dad chocolate is always a nice gesture, but it's still a little too feminine to make a great Father's Day gift. But your problems are now solved with the help of these delicious and intimidating chocolate weapons. Which would you choose a white chocolate grenade or the dark chocolate M-16?

Of course, if you really hate your pops, you can always try dipping a loaded gun in some chocolate and telling him it's one of these.

Carstache

Is your dad more proud of his sweet stache than his own kids? Then celebrate his facial growths with this awesome carstache hood accessory.

Happy Father's Day to all you kiddos out there and please, don't actually get your dad any of these gifts.

If you actually want some cool stuff to buy dad, check out PetsLady.com's picks for some unique finds.