Abduction Lamp Sheds Light on the Truth

Goodbye, Bessie!Goodbye, Bessie!


According to Lasse Klein, the creator of the Alien Abduction Lamp, Elvis is still alive. Apparently he's living comfortably on Mars. Not only that, but he's got an endless supply of hamburgers, cooked up for him by a crew of abducted humans!


You see, Klein purports that it's common knowledge that aliens have abducted Elvis. And "hundreds of cows" are abducted annually, as well. Why, you ask? Well, to keep Elvis munching on a steady supply of hamburgers, obviously. Not only that, but since aliens possess the gimpiest of hands, they need humans to carry out the hard labor involved in flipping burgers.


Ah ha! It's all very clear now, isn't it?


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This UFO comes fully ‘manned' with little green men pilots, assuming a variety of alien positions. A light bulb encased in the metal "saucer" illuminates the windows and is filtered down the frosted glass tractor beam that serves as a base, drawing both human and bovine plastic abductees into its inescapable vortex.


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The antenna serves not only as an intergalactic navigational tool, but also as the on/off switch. Turning it produces a pulsating beam which undoubtedly enhances its hypnotic effect on both man and beast.



Currently, this lamp is only in its concept stage, but since it's been so well-received in the sci-fi community and elsewhere, it's predicted to hit production stage shortly.

Source: Alien Abduction Lamp

Sarah Olson
Innovative Interiors

Nov 3, 2007
by Peety (not verified)

Cool Lamp

This would make an excellent Christmas gift..

Nov 15, 2007
by Abduction Survivor (not verified)

I confirm that Elvis lives

I confirm that Elvis lives on Mars.
As news reports, the next candidate to move to live on other planet is Britney Spears.