The Wrath of God in a Towel

Not being the most Christian of individuals, I'm somewhat frightened of that divine entity known to many as God.  Even after reading the User's Guide to Humanity (pronounced "Bible"), I find God to be somewhat unpredictable in a "I'll save you/I'll turn you into a pillar of salt" kind of way.  And the whole apocalypse thing is terrifying.

As such, this ad for Spontex products gave me something to ponder:

God decided to do the dishes that day...God decided to do the dishes that day...

At first I thought that this was what would happen if a "Sham-Wow" was wrung out in my front yard.  Sort of a "Revenge of the Crazy Guy With the Headset" scenario.  I dunno what it is about that guy, but... well, he's memorable, and I guess that's what counts in an ad campaign.

He's no God, however.  From what I've read God wouldn't need a headset.

After a little digging, I found that Spontex is a company out of the UK that makes various cleaning materials for dusting, scouring, body care, and such.

From a technical standpoint, the ad is quite well done.  The eye is drawn to the product and the graphics are akin to something from a high-end video game (Doom 3 came to mind-which is sort of appropriate given the fate of everyone except Noah and the ark's inhabitants).  While not quite photo-realistic, the detail is nice.  I particularly like the lighting scheme.  And yes, I can talk this way about this stuff; nearly twenty years in the film industry allows me that annoying ability.

While I find this ad campaign cool (and scary), I'm a bit confused.  If, as we're told, we have a kind, benevolent deity who watches over us as a shepherd watches over his flock...  Why is he trying to drown us with the cataclysmic drippings from a giant shammy?

I suppose it shows the all-powerful aspect of God: He/She can wipe the Earth clean with drops of dirty dishwater.

But, wouldn't it make more sense to have The Almighty absorbing the ocean of dishwater with the Spontex shammy?  I mean, that would not only show how incredibly cool God is, but also the efficacy of the product.  It would say, "Look!  Our product is the Holy Grail of wash rags!"

But no.  We have the wrath of God to contend with instead.

As such, I think I'll go out and purchase a Spontex product just to be safe.  If God's gonna clean off the planet, I at least want to be able to wave my shammy around and boast that I bought the same brand as He/She did.  That might get me one step farther from Hades.

And in a situation such as that, one step is worth quite a bit.

If you want to assure your personal safety in the end of days, get your cleaning materials at Spontex.

SOURCES: Ads of the World, Slate

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