We're back for another round of Best of Auditions - for those of us that just can not get enought. It's started. Please feel free to join in with any comments you have at anytime.
Urine doll - Love it!
Haven't laughed that hard in several days! The urine doll, too funny. Of course, it all depends on where the hole in the doll is located as to whether you could pee in it in public. Just because it may be covering up your genetalia doesn't necessarily mean having your crotch stuck to a doll is going to pass for public acceptance. Especially with the person relieving themselve letting out the bug "ahhhhhhh" sigh of relief while their crotch is firmly implanted to a blue doll. And of course, the doll stating back - "Everything is going to be all right". Ohh man, my sides are hurting. Somebody stop me.
Maybe they need to have an episode where someone takes these otherwise worthless inventions, combines two or three of them together to make something more useful. Now that would make this show worth watching! I can see the SNL or Mad TV parodies right now!
If these inventions are going forward and becoming the fashion trends and "cool new" accessories, this is what I envision:
Yuppy couples riding a dual-traction bike, with a trailer attached to haul a solar cooler, bathroom doorclip, and Sacmaster singing, "Here comes Naya" while wearing flatulence deoderizers. Since people will be pissing in public in a urine doll, public restrooms become obsolete and bathroom doorclips slowly decompose in overflowing landfills next to stinky hairwig hankies.
The dusty portable gyms are setting next to infants who are left home alone with bottle slings while parents are at work, and boys and girls are wearing the Catch to school but still have to go through metal detectors.
Dogs have window air conditioners and fart neutralizers, but people are stuck at home because they can't afford to buy gasoline. When husbands come home after a frustrating day at their minimum wage jobs, any wife who dares to prance around in a bow gets beaten black and blue and told to "get the f--- away from me, slut".
Law suits mount as everyone files a claim of patent infringement or product liability due to injuries and death from dangerous products.
Doug Hall sits with an ear-to-ear smile on his face and shoeless feet propped on his desk and says to his attorney, "This is GREAT!!" His attorney replies, "Even better than we planned. I don't know what Mary Lou and ABC are crying about."
More Invention Mismatch
I think the public IS ready for the Urine Doll. But perhaps the urine sack should be called the "Therapy Buddy" and used for sex offenders convicted of indecent exposure or playing with themselves in public. They could be required to wear the coats at all times when in public. The coats could be changed to orange and white stripes and have "Convicted Sex Offender" stamped on the back.
The bottle sling would sell if marketed toward teenagers and adults and sold with alcohol. Everyone could drink and drive but still have two hands on the steering wheel or one hand on the steering wheel and one hand for holding a cell phone.
The Naya doll could be transformed into the first fully functioning anatomically correct pubescent male doll who says, "Here COMES Naya" when it ejaculates.
Funny stuff. Hope we can keep this blog PG.
"Thera-pee". (I guess it just didn't cross my mind.)
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