An Enema For and By the People: Russian Resort Unveils Monument

Who erected this monument and more importantly, why?



According to news sources, those who love monuments will not be disappointed to hear about the 5-foot tall, 800-pound bronze syringe bulb held by three angels that has been unveiled at a spa at the Mashuk Akva-Term Sanatorium in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk. (Was this an inmate’s idea? News sources won’t say.) This region in the Caucasus Mountains is known for dozens of spas where enemas composed of water from nearby mineral springs are routinely distributed to treat a variety of digestive complaints.

According to the Spa director, Alexander Kharchenko, aged 50:

“There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art. An enema is a symbol of our region.”

Still, a plaque posted on a nearby Spa wall declaring "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas” is difficult to read without at least an inner chuckle and a fleeting recall of the hysterically funny 1960s, Mel Brooks Soviet comedy, “Twelve Chairs.”

Who designed this unbelievable monument?

The name of the sculptress is Svetlana Avakina, who told the press she had “irony and humor” in mind when she designed the monument and modeled the angels on those done by Italian Renaissance painter Alessandro Botticelli. She proudly told the news:

“This device is eternal, it will never change. We could promote this brand, turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors. The irony is that the little infants steal the weapons of Mars. They joke with the god of war, and war is a tragedy. Likewise, an enema is an unpleasant procedure as many of us may know. But when cherubs do it, it’s all right.”

What could be next on her creative but off-the-wall agenda? A statue dedicated to the inventor of laxatives? Or maybe one in honor of the man (or woman) who invented the bathroom plunger? The possibilities are endless when subject matter is taken from a world where…well, from a place where not too many dare to go.

Just remember to always keep your friends close and your enemas closer.

Happy enema to all and to all a good night!