Attention Crazed 'Mart Shoppers: Ten More Cars Of The People Of Wal-Mart
Vehicular manslaughter? At my Wal-Mart? It's more likely than you think... assuming its written “vehicular man's laughter”. These ten more weird wheeled entries in the Wal-Mart Wagon Wall of Shame will have you wishing for a price rollback right into the car crusher.
10) Movers & Shakers
When this car moves, everything shakes... and the only thing worse than riding inside would have to be following behind.
9) Homeland Security
England has Mr Bean; we've got this guy – and he's got the lock to prove it. Considering the color of his car, one might even say he's got the lock of the Irish.
8) Big Grills Don't Cry
The upside of owning a car that looks like this? You'll always be able to find it in even the biggest parking lot.
7) Going Postal
Don't get this guy mad, especially on Publisher's Clearinghouse day. If he's hoping the USPS motto (“neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night etc”) will apply to his boldly decorated Dodge Neon, he'd have been far better off not buying a Dodge Neon.
6) Rooster Clutchburn
Hmm, you'd think he'd start with a Thunderbird but whatever. It would seem the so-called Chicken Car is “soon to be famous”. We're guessing that'll be right about the time he tries driving under a low overpass.
5) Elvis Drives
Elvis has left the Wal-Mart... in a minivan? Sounds legit. The King just stopped in to pick up some bread, peanut butter, bananas and bacon and according to the cashier he said “Thank you... thank you very much.”
4) Cars Attacks
The good news is, when Martians finally invade the first place they'll go is Wal-Mart. The bad news is, we'll ALL have to endure Slim Whitman at max volume before the interplanetary transport above explodes in an earth-shattering kaboom.
3) Dino Might!
It's said that BMWs are different from porcupines 'cause the pricks are on the inside. Then there's this guy. In the driver's defense, tailgate parties have got to be a blast unless you're the one being tailgated.
2) Spoiler Alert
The ostensible purpose of a rear deck spoiler is to manage airflow at high speeds, reducing aerodynamic lift and drag. Of course, when mounted on the rear deck of a Ford Taurus sedan said spoiler serves no purpose whatsoever... just don't tell THIS guy.
1) Get Smart
OK, we all know Smart Car drivers are a little smug but this one takes it to the next level: he or she's a little snug. Hopefully someone'll drop a quarter into the gas tank and take the garishly painted microcar into Wal-Mart and use it as a shopping cart.
Thanks and a tip of the cap as well to People of Walmart, the hard-working source of these all-too-real images you only WISH were 'shopped!
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