Bacon- Scented and Bacon-Patterned Tuxedoes: Unique Formal Wear!

by M Dee Dubroff

Bacon TuxedoEven if you are a vegetarian and don’t like pigs, if you are weird enough, you still might go for this new line of formal wear by Uncle Oinker, the crowning glory of which is the Bacon-Scented, Bacon-Patterned Tuxedo! This way, you not only look ridiculous but you can also smell that way too! Avoid visits to zoos and pig farms while wearing the Bacon-Scented, Bacon-Patterned Tuxedo, as wildlife, swine and other assorted vermin may not be impressed with your façade. (You simply must not attend the wedding on Old Macdonald’s farm.) Instead, why not send the wedding gift wrapped in bacon gift wrap , which is so much more appropriate, if such a word can be used in conjunction with the Bacon-Scented, Bacon-Patterned Tuxedo. (This way the pigs won’t be offended. Most people don’t realize how sensitive they are to people wearing and smelling like bacon!)

To add pork fat to injury, the Bacon-Patterned, Bacon-Scented Tuxedo can only be dry-cleaned. One can only wonder if the scent goes through changes after dry cleaning chemicals are applied to the cloth, creating perhaps a weird amalgam of scents that might attract even new and different wildlife!

But just think of the advantages of owning one of these Bacon-Scented, Bacon-Patterned tuxedos! Now you can get married in bacon, get confirmed or graduate in bacon and even attend the Oscars in bacon if that is your heart’s desire. (If you happen to be popular actor, Kevin Bacon, it might work, but if you are anyone else…well, you know.) Each Bacon-Scented, Bacon-Patterned Tuxedo is tailored from chemically treated latex print fabric and is available in one of four sizes (dumb, dumber, dumber still and off the charts dumb).

I don’t know about you, but as far as the Bacon-Scented, Bacon-Patterned Tuxedo is concerned, I think I’ll wait for my eggs!

Please note: It has come to my attention that this product is a hoax. Explanation will follow in a subsequent post. I apologize to all with the assurance that it was an honest mistake.

M Dee Dubroff
Russian Innovations
InventorSpot.com

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Comments

Wow...

Submitted on June 29th, 2008 by Anonymous

I can't believe people are still falling for this. Way to fact check your story, dude. Go back to the website and click the buy it button.

bacomn-scented tuxedo

Submitted on June 30th, 2008 by M Dee Dubroff

It is cited in more than one place as a viable item, but maybe I did make a mistake. Thank you for pointing it out to me. I will check it out as best as I can.

Yours in Words,

M Dee Dubroff

To You Anonymous Dude (Thank You)

Submitted on June 30th, 2008 by M Dee Dubroff

A Bacon-Scented Apology To My Readers

This is probably the most embarrassing post that I will ever write, but it is necessary. I am afraid that I have fallen the way of all flesh and made what is known as a mistake.

To be completely honest, I would never have known if the matter had not been brought to my most reluctant attention.

The Bacon Scented Tuxedo should be worn for formal catered affairs in Brigadoon and other far away and imaginary places where unbridled imagination reigns supreme.

It is quite odd because I researched three sources that listed this thing as legitimate, but it never occurred to me to click on the link at the website that says: “add to cart.”

I wouldn’t have checked on the link as that seemed to cement its legitimacy, until a reader suggested that I do so.

So please forgive me and don’t think of me that next time you order bacon with your eggs. If you do think of me the next time you see a funny tuxedo on an imaginary person, I can’t say that I blame you.

May I learn from my mistake and a most unhappy unbirthday and unApril Fool’s Day to all!

So very sorry!

Check out phony link at:
http://www.mcphee.com/aprilmcphee.htmlYours in Words,

M Dee Dubroff

Phony? Baloney!

Submitted on June 30th, 2008 by Steve Levenstein

You know what Dee? It really doesn't matter if the tux is real or not. The concept is what counts. After all, how many people would actually wear such a suit? Very few. How many were, are and will be amused by the concept you've brought to our attention? Very many. Seems to me the annoyed poster feels foolish about clicking the "buy now" button at the tux site and needs to recover his dignity. Keep looking, dude - and thanks for all your interesting articles, Dee!

bacon suit

Submitted on June 30th, 2008 by Diana Eid

Hey, everybody makes mistakes - me most of all! :) Although, this bacon suit would be pretty amusing to actually buy...maybe it'll be available in stores soon....I could see the neighborhood dogs following me around if I wore one of these. :) I still enjoyed your article anyways.

Diana

I agree with Steve...

Submitted on July 1st, 2008 by Toby