Be Prepared For That Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse
Everyone who has been paying attention to television or movies for the last 35 years knows that it is coming and that it is inevitable. The dead are going to rise up and come after the living and we all need to be ready! There is no need to spend hours researching just what you will need. You can have it all delivered to your door in the Zombie Survival Crate.
One of the first things you need to do in these situations is to travel light. You won't be taking half the household with you, just the bare necessities to fight zombies. When it comes to a zombie apocalypse, it is basically a military SERE situation (Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape).
Any survival expert can tell you that the most important thing to have with you besides your wits is a good knife. The kit comes with a strong machete. This is no toy. It is a real knife and can do real damage. The Gerber® Gator Machete Junior can help you build shelter, assemble camouflage, or kill an attacking zombie.
The crate also comes with a first aid kit because, let's face it, when you are wielding that much knife power and you are terrified out of your mind you run a pretty high risk of hurting yourself. Well, you could at least get a really nasty paper cut on the survival guide.
Oh, yes, the survival guide. This isn't just any random set of instructions; it is the Zombie Survival Guide by best-selling author Max Brooks (son of comedian Mel Brooks and author of the upcoming World War Z). So everything you need to know is coming right from the top expert in the field.
No survival kit of any kind would be much good without a roll of duct tape. It is one of those items that comes in handy no matter what you are doing. Even MacGyver swears by the stuff -- and most handymen would rather die than try to live without it. You can use it to help construct your emergency shelter, mend your shoes, patch your clothes, or, in a really dire situation, help a friendly zombie reattach a fallen limb. Okay that last bit is unlikely. How many friendly zombies are really out there? I remain optimistic.
The crate also comes packed with a Zombie Flashlight designed for just such emergencies. And who can fight on an empty stomach? The crate originally came packed with Twinkies, but history has managed to thwart the manufacturer there. The only other food that could survive a zombie apocalypse is now included instead -- SPAM. The protein will keep your tummy full and your muscles strong for the final battle.
All of these essentials come packed in a no-frills crate. Who needs frills and bows when the survival of the human race is at stake? It does come with a laser-etched crowbar so that you can access the crate. Who knows? The crowbar could also come in handy as a survival tool.
One last bit of advice -- an annual viewing of Shaun of the Dead wouldn't be a bad idea to help keep you up to speed. For a crash course in how to recognize a zombie when you see one, please review the attached short video by Jessica Fay.Sources: Man Crates, Zombie Reckoning, Wikipedia