Bird Song Organ Plays Tweet Music

Cheered by the sweet sound of songbirds on a bright, beautiful morning? Then the Bird Song Organ from Adult Science magazine will truly be an awakening. Everything you need to construct your very own hand-turned music machine comes with the easy-to-build kit, right down to the special scissors used to punch the holes in each song's card.

According to the description at Japan Trend Shop, "These diminutive music boxes were a cherished ornament in the drawing rooms of ladies in 18th century France." What they don't tell you is that the actual songs are best listened to by ladies from 18th century France - at least they can't run away.

Yes indeed, the cringe-worthy cacophony of canaries that spews forth when the organ is cranked rivals the ear-piercing screech uttered by Lloyd Christmas in "Dumb and Dumber" for the world's most annoying sound. My guess is that the frenzy of guillotining that followed the French Revolution was merely an effort to silence those 18th century drawing room ladies once and for all. "Off wiss zerr heads - anyting to stop dat noize!"

Think I'm exaggerating? Watch this video of "Amazing Grace" and see if you can stand it to the end. Seriously, the Bird Song Organ makes the Christmas Dogs sound good - and that's saying something:

If, by chance, you find the Bird Song Organ eerily soothing or if you just want to irritate your friends, family, neighbors and pets, feel free to order the kit online at the Japan Trend Shop website for just $60. If it was up to me, I'd price it at $66.60.