The Breakup Shop: Heartbreaker Of A Business Will End Your Relationships

We've reached that time of year when people come together to celebrate family, love, tradition, and all of the Breakup Shop TextBreakup Shop Textthings that inspire warm and fuzzy holiday feelings. Sadly, these celebrations also encourage an activity as ice cold as a white Christmas - the holiday breakup. The good news is that you don't have to be a heartbreaker, as there's an innovative new business prepared to do the dirty work for you so that you might be spared that lump of coal in your stocking (but probably not).

The Breakup Shop is a company that specializes in breaking hearts year-round; capitilizing on the technology age of dating's ghosting trend. They're trying to offer people an alternative to total radio silence when their relationships start to fizzle. During the holiday season, it's even more important to breakup responsibly, or at least take the steps required to be a bit less of a jerk when "seasonal breakup disorder" hits. Spending money on the Breakup Shop's services could be considered a step in that direction, as it takes more commitment than doing absolutely nothing.

Now, before we take a closer look at the products and services offered by The Breakup Shop, let's explore why such a dismal business would be relevant at what should be a joyous time of year.  Match.com and other highly scientific social media studies that have been conducted demonstrate that the holidays are a time for reflecting on the direction that our relationships are heading because we're faced with milestones like bringing significant others to spend time with family members, and gift buying. Match.com finds that the number of people surfing for a new mate is highest at this time of year. The holidays are about spending time with loved ones, and people move on from those they realize they don't love, and are in search of new connections to bring the kind of fulfillment that they're looking for. 

The Breakup ShopThe Breakup Shop

So, if you find yourself in this predicament just weeks before Christmas, and can't see your current significant other sitting around the dinner table with your Grandma joyously and triumphantly celebrating the season as it should be celebrated, what can you do? I mean, you don't really want to ruin your own cheerful holiday spirit by getting your hands dirty and being a heartbreaker, right? At least according to The Breakup Shop, the answer is a resounding "nope".

There are people prepared to do it for you, and the lovely team at the breakup shop that has specialized training on letting people down easy even refers to themselves as "Heartbreakers. They offer a number of different breakup services to meet just about any breakup budget. If you're only interested in putting minimal effort into the split, starting at $10, you can opt for a text or email. Here's the thing - The Breakup Shop doesn't deceive anyone by indicating that the message is coming from you (the dumper) as every message is boldly signed with their company name. 

When you select a text message breakup - which is captioned by The Breakup Shop with "what's worse than getting dumped over the phone? A breakup text. Show them you really don't care." - you get up to 100 words that they'll use to let your former love down. You can choose when you'd like to have the text sent, provided you give them three days lead-time (unless you upgrade to the rush breakup option), and you can write the message yourself or have a Heartbreaker work their magic with a customized message.  While having someone send a text message on your behalf may seem ice cold, it's actually one of the warmer services from The Breakup Shop.

The Breakup Shop EmailThe Breakup Shop Email

The email breakup option falls at the same price point as the text, but it includes a couple of additional perks. Heartbreakers will include links to help the dumpee recover from the breakup trauma, and even a picture of you and your latest love interest if you're really looking to inflict some serious hurt.

If you've got a more significant breakup budget in mind, The Breakup Shop also offers a phone call service, a text with flowers option, and a fully customizable letter option which up to 300 words of heartbreak printed on high quality cardstock. Each option promises to get the message across in a way that's just as cold as your heart. But hey, at least you can take something from the knowledge that you threw money into project breakup. 

Breakup Shop Custom LetterBreakup Shop Custom Letter

If you're interested in taking things to the next level and want to provide a little token of your appreciation for the relationship that you no longer want to be in, The Breakup Shop has a Gifts for Exes Store. There you'll find Netflix gift cards, tasty snacks, The Notebook on BluRay, Call of Duty: Ghosts video game, and a card that smells like poo. If you're feeling extra remorseful about having someone else transform the person you once liked at least a little into an ex whatever, all of those items can be combined into a cute little Breakup Gift Pack for $80+.

Breakup Gift PackBreakup Gift Pack

If you're planning to do the holiday breakup thing, you probably do want to choose The Breakup Shop's premium services, at least as a gift to yourself. After all, nothing says Merry Christmas like an angry stalker of an ex ready to light your house ablaze. Though, that might melt a few icicles from that frosty thing in your chest you call a heart, friend! But to each his/her own, after all, this unique and controversial business isn't getting buzz because we're all Mother Theresa's of breakup town.