Cars and What They Say About You

(11) Laced Lady Bug--suped up with special secret alcohol formula to compete against the fully loaded Herbie, who will be left high and dry at the race track...that is, junkyard

(10) CAR-bohydrate High Bread Car--runs on a mixture of organic foods and is environmentally friendly. Great for take-outs, but not drive-ins. Consumer Reports rated it a good vehicle for teenagers since it passed the Pro-tein test. Sunbeam Bread offers a similar model with a sun roof.

( 9) Sober-Up DUI Car--enables intoxicated driver to SPLIT the scene of an accident while leaving half the car behind to avoid being cited. Beat the rap on a technicality.
...know what ya gonna do when they come for you

( 8) Car Radio for Pre-Teens--adolescents too young to drive can pretend to joyride while listening to deafening music inside the externally sound-proof car radio

( 7) Loco-motive Railraod Crossing Daredevil Car--front cab is low enough to drive under lowered "Do NOT Cross" gate and rear bed is made of solid steel that is hard enough (should an impact occur) to make the TRAIN lose for a change

( 6) Instant Whiplash Whirlpool Car--when hit from behind, the cab instantly fills with hot water to soothe the occupants from the impending whiplash. Protects young children from harmful effects of deployed air bags, but may cause drowning

( 5) Handicapped Accessible Vehicle--eliminates need for extra wide parking spaces and offers easy entry and exit

( 4) BUS-ted River Boat Gamblers' Ride to Shore--losers no longer have to stay on the riverboat without any money left to enjoy their cruise. Lets losers leave with dignity

( 3) Cat Stevens Groupie Bus--free and spacious, unlike the Partridge bus

( 2) Wizard of OZ ATV--does 360s and wheelies with ease, vrooms instead of brooms, and makes you realize that there's many places better than home

( 1) Training Wheels for Toddlers--make potty training fun and exciting and stop "Pampering" your kids

I have a Honda Accord so what does that mean

Accord-ing to my best guess, you aren't very big and you have to pay for all your gasoline since you know that if you tried to speed off without paying, you'd be doing 0 to 60 in the County Jail.

I might add, no offense intended, that you obviously never heard that anything less than a Jeep is a sissy car.

As a whole, they'd make a lousy "Hot Wheels" collection.

Hey Free Lancey:

Great to have you repost.

I was so frigging pissed we lost your material but I actually think your second take was even better.

Thanks for posting again. The articel seemed much more lame without your comments. :)

Free Lancey:

Was the server so slow that you could not post comments?

We are still trying to recover the site but if you are having problems, please drop us a line in our contact box so our technical team knows about it.

Thanks everyone.

Yes, sometimes the server was slow. But I reposted because I wasn't sure of the meaning of "lost"--are the comments lost forever, or are you, in fact, going to get them back?

thanks

Nice Designs, something interesting to see after long time

My brother is often accused of being a homosexual for driving a Mazda Miata. Personally, I think people take this "you are the car you drive" thing a bit too far. I suppose in places like New York City everyone is a subway or a taxi.
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Andrea M.
San Diego DUI lawyer