Cars and What They Say About You

People often choose cars to express themselves. You buy a Hummer and that screams out "I'm a really big man" or "I Think Green". You buy a Bentley and that screams out "I'm rich son of a b***h". You buy a VW Bug and that screams out "I'm adorable - don't squish me".

People are wacky. Wacky people often have wacky cars. I don't know if they intend to be wacky, but I think it just happens.

Here are eleven of the wackiest cars that I have seen that I thought you may want to see too. In looking at these cars, I think about what the owners and the ones who created these cars wanted to express about themselves. I wonder what the people driving around in these car want to be shouting at the world about these unusal cars just screaming out for attention.

Here what I imagine they are saying:

11. All For Show Car

Shouts: "I have enough money to have a gold trimmed car, but all I could afford was a cheap VW Beetle Bug to trim."

All for ShowAll for Show

See it here.

10. Patty Wagon - Plastic Burger Car

Shouts: "Lettuce out."

Patty WagonPatty Wagon

See it here

9. Post Separation Siamese Twin Car

Shouts: "I have no friends, no family and no life."

Halfsie's CarHalfsie's Car

See it here.

8. Little Multi-Directional Car

Shouts: "Which way do I go, which way do I go."

Multi Directional CarMulti Directional Car

See it here.

7. Stretched Out Flat Top Car See it here.

Shouts: "I'm real short and don't need headspace."

Flat TopFlat Top


6. Bathtub and Car All-in-One

Shouts: "I like to do free porn on the internet and on the driveway."

Bathtub CarBathtub Car

See it here.

5. Where's the Door?! Orange Bubble Car

Shouts: "I like feeling like I do too many drugs"

BMW IsettaBMW Isetta

See it here.

4. It Can Do Everything Bus Boat

Shouts: "The bus driver is so bad, I needed a backup plan for when we couldn't stay on the road."

Bus BoatBus Boat

See it here.

3. Ugly Yellow Cat Van

Shouts: "Meow"

Cat VanCat Van

See it here.


2. Hot Red Heel Car

Shouts: "You can walk all over me - Hard."

Hot Red Heel CarHot Red Heel Car

See it here.


1. Really Got to Go Car

Shouts: "I have a serious bladder problem."

Gotta Go CarGotta Go Car

See it here.

Can you think of any good captions for these cars? If you have a good one, I'll replace one of my witty captions with one of yours. If you do it often enough, this super high paying glamorous celebrity gig I have at is all yours.

I really want to take the summer off and I am looking for a free intern (ok so its not the Appretice here) so rack your brains and share with us what you got.

* * * * *

A reader "Free Lance" came up with better captions. I started editing mine but decided its better not to pick and choose and just concede his stuff is better than what I came up with. Make sure to check out his comments below.

* * * * *

Jun 1, 2006
by Free Lancey II (not verified)

Resubmitting my second take since your server is SLOW

(11) Laced Lady Bug--suped up with special secret alcohol formula to compete against the fully loaded Herbie, who will be left high and dry at the race track...that is, junkyard

(10) CAR-bohydrate High Bread Car--runs on a mixture of organic foods and is environmentally friendly. Great for take-outs, but not drive-ins. Consumer Reports rated it a good vehicle for teenagers since it passed the Pro-tein test. Sunbeam Bread offers a similar model with a sun roof.

( 9) Sober-Up DUI Car--enables intoxicated driver to SPLIT the scene of an accident while leaving half the car behind to avoid being cited. Beat the rap on a technicality.
...know what ya gonna do when they come for you

( 8) Car Radio for Pre-Teens--adolescents too young to drive can pretend to joyride while listening to deafening music inside the externally sound-proof car radio

( 7) Loco-motive Railraod Crossing Daredevil Car--front cab is low enough to drive under lowered "Do NOT Cross" gate and rear bed is made of solid steel that is hard enough (should an impact occur) to make the TRAIN lose for a change

( 6) Instant Whiplash Whirlpool Car--when hit from behind, the cab instantly fills with hot water to soothe the occupants from the impending whiplash. Protects young children from harmful effects of deployed air bags, but may cause drowning

( 5) Handicapped Accessible Vehicle--eliminates need for extra wide parking spaces and offers easy entry and exit

( 4) BUS-ted River Boat Gamblers' Ride to Shore--losers no longer have to stay on the riverboat without any money left to enjoy their cruise. Lets losers leave with dignity

( 3) Cat Stevens Groupie Bus--free and spacious, unlike the Partridge bus

( 2) Wizard of OZ ATV--does 360s and wheelies with ease, vrooms instead of brooms, and makes you realize that there's many places better than home

( 1) Training Wheels for Toddlers--make potty training fun and exciting and stop "Pampering" your kids

Jun 1, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

I have a Honda Accord so

I have a Honda Accord so what does that mean

Jun 1, 2006
by Lee Iacoco (not verified)

Honda Accord Owner

Accord-ing to my best guess, you aren't very big and you have to pay for all your gasoline since you know that if you tried to speed off without paying, you'd be doing 0 to 60 in the County Jail.

I might add, no offense intended, that you obviously never heard that anything less than a Jeep is a sissy car.

Jun 3, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

Neat Cars.....BUT:

As a whole, they'd make a lousy "Hot Wheels" collection.

Jun 5, 2006
by Amused and Bemused

Hey Free Lancey: Great to

Hey Free Lancey:

Great to have you repost.

I was so frigging pissed we lost your material but I actually think your second take was even better.

Thanks for posting again. The articel seemed much more lame without your comments. :)

Jun 5, 2006
by Amused and Bemused

Free Lancey: Was the server

Free Lancey:

Was the server so slow that you could not post comments?

We are still trying to recover the site but if you are having problems, please drop us a line in our contact box so our technical team knows about it.

Thanks everyone.

Jun 13, 2006
by Anonymous (not verified)

Free Lance's Response

Yes, sometimes the server was slow. But I reposted because I wasn't sure of the meaning of "lost"--are the comments lost forever, or are you, in fact, going to get them back?

Jan 23, 2007
by Anonymous (not verified)



Mar 14, 2007
by Leena (not verified)


Nice Designs, something interesting to see after long time