Need An Enhancement For Your Crotch? Try A Kitty Carpet

Bored with your go-to style and want a makeover for your crotch?  If you answered yes (or you're just plain curious), we have thesolution (tm) for you.


Kitty Carpet

The package for Kitty Carpet reads "reusable downstairs toupe", and while the intended use for a Kitty Carpet is straightforward, we still find ourselves wondering Why?  Why would I want to stick a patch of polyester on my crotch?

While the flambuoyant pink screams gag gift, you may be surprised to learn that pubic wigs, also known as a Merkin, have been around for a very long time, since the 1450's to be exact (according to The Oxford Companion to the Body).

Apparently, many women would shave their pubic hair for personal hygiene and as a way to avoid getting lice.  Are you itchy all of a sudden?  I am.

It gets worse.

Prostitutes were also known to wear merkins (often made out of beaver pelts or linen) in order to cover up evidence of diseases such as syphilis.

Merkins continue to be used quite often today as decoration, but more prominently in the film and modeling industries.  Because of censorship, actors and models are often required to cover up when appearing nude on camera.

For us non prostitutes, models, and actors, Kitty Carpet downstairs toupes offer a fun makeover for an area that often goes unseen.  It can be a fun little secret in your pants.

Kitty Carpet measures at 3.5" wide and 4.5" long and comes with 24 pieces of double-sided body tape so you can rest assured your pubic wig doesn't fall off at work.

Available in three colors: "Michael Jackson's Hair" (black), "Natural Pink" (pink), and "The Carpet Matches the Drapes" (light brown).  And can also be cut into "whatever shape your heart desires" including a heart!  Indeed, the instructions for Kitty Carpet include a website where you can download 10 free shape templates such as an arrow, rainbow, star, and even the Starfleet insignia from Star Trek.

Kitty Carpet directions say to:
1. Trim your Kitty Carpet to the desired shape (Stencils Available at
2. Peel off at least one included Quick Fix Stick and stick it to the non-fuzzy side of Kitty Carpet
3. Adhere your Kitty Carpet exactly where you think it should go.

If you're not sure where it should go, you could always ask a friend to help affix your polyester faux fur pubic wig.

"Botched brazilian?  Misbehaved shave?  Unveiled va-jay-jay?" Order your Kitty Carpet downstairs toupe today.


Sources: Amazon and Wikipedia


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