Over the top. Outrageous. These terms describe just some of the
holiday homes we see in our neighborhood.
Most homeowners will string
some lights outside or maybe feature a blow-up Santa, but other folks plan
all year for their extravagant displays. These folks who go
above and beyond for extreme holiday decorating stand
out from the rest. One Pennsylvania man has 60,000 LED lights set up to holiday tunes in his front yard. Another neighborhood contains 20 homes all synchronized together to a musical playlist! So are you doing too much? How can you tell?
Here are 10 Signs You've Overdone The Holiday Decorating:
1. Your Electric Bill Is Bigger Than Most Mortage Payments
Too Much Outside Lighting
You know you've overdone the outside lighting when....
• You need an entirely new circuit board
• Your neighbors move away from Halloween til Valentine’s Day just so they can sleep in the dark
• Your electric bill is higher than college tuition for 3 months out of the year
• Your house can be seen from space
• None of your plants freeze in the winter thanks to the heat generated from your display
• Your house causes rolling blackouts throughout the rest of the city
• The Fire Marshall has to inspect your display every year
• The police have to cordon off your street because of too many wrecks from the glare
• Old people wanting to play slot machines line up at your door
• Liberace fans do tribute shows in your front yard
• You can’t sync your lights to music because the tune would be drowned out by the buzzing of the electric animatronics motors
2. Your electric plugs look like this:
Unable to source pic beyond Pinterest. Perhaps the originating site burnt down.
This can’t be safe.
3. Your vehicle looks like these cars:
This is going to play hell with the gas mileage.
VW Christmas Car
VW Bugs always were weird looking anyway. You might as well finish the job by adding thousands of Christmas lights.
Minneapolis Twinkle Bus
photo courtesy metrocouncil.org
This is the 2012 Minneapolis Twinkle Bus. At least the new version of the bus is 100% hybrid electric. The Twinkle Bus boasts 23,000 bulbs that blink in sync with “Deck the Halls,” “Sleigh Ride” and “Winter Wonderland.”
4. You Could Get Buried Alive Under Your Inflatables
Too Many Inflatables
People are passing out up and down the street because all the air is at your house. Your yard looks like a clown car full of inflatables exploded on the lawn
5. You Have An Inflatable Peeping Santa
Funny, but wrong. Creeper Santa inflatable is watching you masturbate.
6. Your Lighted Trees Look Like Penis Tree
Unable to source original pic other than Pinterest. Please contact us if you have info!
If you can’t step back, look at your decorating and say “Aw, hell no…” – it’s time to outsource the job or something!
7. Your Trees Are Upside Down
Upside Down Christmas Trees
You know you’ve got too much time on your hands when you can affix trees to your ceiling AND your floor. However, we give props for a cool idea.
8. You're Overdoing A Color Theme
PINK Christmas Tree
This extremely OMG PINK Christmas Tree graces the Plaza Hotel lobby in New York. It does make a statement. That statement is OMG PINK.
9. Every Inch Of Your Home Is Covered
Interior Christmas Hell
Bernie and Denise Lumsden covered every inch of their Bristol, England, home, inside and out. They got plenty of visitors to their "twinkling beacon of Christmas Joy," but the couple had to pull the plug in 2008, when electricity costs and red tape associated with health and safety standards made it too hard to continue.
10. You Have 1700 Ornaments On The Ceiling
Maybe it’s a British thing? But you know you have an indoor decorating problem when (1) The Fire Department shuts you down as a safety hazard and (2) the Police raid you thinking you have an indoor pot farm.
For Heaven’s sake, please rein in your decorating this year! Or if you can’t do that, go really big and send us photos for next year’s article!