10 Best Hamburger Fantasies Become A Reality
Sushi is so 2006 and bacon is totally 2008, but what random food fad is on the cool horizon this year? Burgers. Why burgers? They’re as all-American as you can get –even more American than apple pie and baseball, which are really just variations of German and British inventions respectively. Plus, they're a great compliment for 2008's just passing trend, bacon.
In honor of this great American feat of food engineering, I am proud to bring you the must-have burger gizmos of the upcoming year.
1. The Hamburger Bed
This is quite possibly my favorite burger invention. Who doesn’t want to sleep between two toasty buns with a nice piece of lettuce pressed against their skin? It costs around $2000 although the creator, Kayla Kromer, doesn’t seem to believe people really want to buy the bed. I say it’s your duty to prove her wrong, dear readers!
2. Burger Cushion and Blanket
I know, it's a recession. Not everyone can just throw down a few grand to have one of the awesomest beds on earth. If you, like me, are one of them there "poor people," you may just have to settle for this cute burger cushion with matching blanket. It may not be a whole bed, but hey, it will keep you warm, cozy, and most importantly, stylish.
3. Burger Coasters
Coasters are generally so boring and so ugly –especially when not in use. Enter burger coasters, providing classic kitsch style paired with contemporary functionality. Just make sure it doesn’t get mixed up with your McDonald’s one night, resulting in plastic overload.
4. Burger Boosters
Maybe you're just not into coasters though. I mean, they are pretty square. If that's the case, then you can always touch up your kitchen or living room with these double-decker burger foot stools. (Happy children munching on french fries sold seperately.)
5. The Tail Pipe Cooker
Hamburger trends aren’t limited to home décor, they also extend to the food itself. What better way to cook up your cheeseburger than using your car’s exhaust fumes? Never mind the fact that it’s sure to be difficult to clean and will likely result in three week old beef residue, but what’s a little rotten meat between friends?
6. Flaming Cologne
Does your love enjoy burgers too much? Does she ever ignore you in favor of her flame-broiled lover? If so, you may consider trying the Burger King Flame cologne, said to carry the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled beef. Plus, it’s only $3.99, so when you leave her for someone who’s not so beef obsessed you won’t regret having wasted too much money in garnering her interest.
7. Burger Cookies
The Japanese are always ahead of the trends, so of course it’s not surprising that Tokyo is already on the burger bandwagon. These delightful cookies look just like America’s favorite sandwich although they taste like chocolate and biscuits. Quite delightful indeed.
8. Origami Fast Food
To further back up my assertion that the Japanese trend-setters are in the know about the burger’s newfound stylishness, here’s another great goodie from the far-East. The Origami Hamburger Kit is just too cute to resist. It’s only $6 and will provide you with a delightful 16-piece origami set that will turn into a whole tray of fast food treats.
9. Knitted Cheeseburgers Are Paradise
Etsy sellers are second only to the Japanese when it comes to identifying and marketing new trends. If you really want to know if something's hip, just see how many Etsy items are made in its image. Following this coolness litmus test, it's easy to see that burgers are totally en vogue this year. This knitted burger pattern is one of my favorite Etsy pieces on the market today. It's so delightfully kitsch, yet it looks strangely appetizing...
10. The Cheeseburger Dress
Everyone likes to be dressed in the latest fads, so why would the hamburger be any different? Artist Joy Kampia O’Shell has crocheted this absolutely delightful hamburger dress. The first one has already been sold out, but she is happy to remake any of her works at a rate of $30 an hour, which means this gorgeous piece of art will probably run you somewhere around $1000.
So now you know about things to come, you’d better go out and get all the hamburger goodies you can. After all, I’m sure you would love to finally be the person who says “I was into that way before it was trendy.”