Golf Ball Launcher Should Make Golf More Interesting
I've written about a lot of golf gadgets and gifts since taking on this column, but not a one of them has gotten me particularly excited. In fact, I consider the entire sport of golf the antithesis of excitement. A bunch of older, overprivileged men patting each other on their backs while wearing hideous pants and shoes just isn't my idea of a good time--a stereotype perhaps, but you can't argue that it doesn't ring true much of the time.
What is my idea of a good time is shooting various types of projectiles to the dismay of everyone around. And golf balls would seem like an ideal projectile--small enough to load easily and hard and heavy enough to fly the distance. So I'll christen the Golf Ball Launcher the first golf-related gadget that I'm psyched to find.
Shaped kind of like a rifle with a particularly long barrel, there's not much to know about the Golf Ball Launcher that you don't get from its name. It launches golf balls. Up to and beyond 300 yards. It can also be adjusted to shoot just a few feet when finesse takes precedence over distance.
The Golf Ball Launcher operates via compressed air using a 12V air compressor. For those thinking that a big golf ball cannon isn't the safest thing on the course, its creators assure us that the device has not one, but two safeties.
Surprisingly, the Golf Ball Launcher appears to be positioned at people that actually like to play golf. The website cites those with disabilities and those who just get frustrated with the sport--you know, because without a cannon to shoot the balls, you actually have to have some form of skill to play. The website even gives instructions on asking/convincing golf courses to allow you to play through with your launcher. That promises to go well.
In addition to the launcher, golfers will also need a putter and chipper for those shots that just can't be taken care of with a weapon of destruction.
If this thing catches on, I foresee a whole new spin-off sport of redneck golf coming to be. It shouldn't take long for artful garage engineers to save the $800 and mod similar devices with a bit of pipe, a welding iron and an air tank. Then the demographic of stodgy, old men will be overtaken by that of rowdy, mulleted Bud-guzzlers. Pick-up trucks will replace golf carts and the course will be a much different place. The look on the old-school golfers' faces would be absolutely priceless.
You can find more information on this $795 sporting device on the website. It doesn't appear to be quite ready for sale, and if intuition has anything to say, it probably never will be.