Mother's Day is around the corner. What better time is there to honor the women who give us life and who make up the cornerstones of psychoanalysis? That's why I'm recommending the following five patents as perfect, non-traditional gift ideas for your mom - whether you like her or not. C'mon dude, she had you!
The Pet Loving Mom
United States patent 5277148 is for the empty-nester mom with a pet you suspect she loves much more than she ever loved you. With this handy device mommy can take her "baby" with her everywhere she goes. And she won't be outdone by the mommies, or daddies pretending to be mommies, at the park because this Wearable Pet Carrier is worn just like a baby carrier: slung from her shoulders so the pack and the pup rest blissfully on her chest.
Wearable Pet Carrier
The Perfectionist Mom
For the mommy who has to over-think everything, or the one who simply needs a gadget to do anything - you know, she actually owns a Ronco electric egg scrambler - there is the handy Diaper Moisture Sensor below. This simple device attaches to a diaper and sounds an alarm when baby's diaper needs changing. Yes, this is where we've arrived as a family. Thanks to our over-reliance on technology we can no longer trust things like the smell and weight of a diaper, a baby's cries, or common sense, to alert us to our baby's needs.
Diaper Moisture Sensor
The Frugal Mom
If your mom is of the thrifty variety, then United States Patent 5713081 is for her. Simply put, the patent is for pantyhose with a spare leg. Yes, you read that last sentence correctly: Three-Legged Pantyhose! These ingenious leggings are designed to spare a woman the expense, or trouble, of buying and carrying an extra set of pantyhose in her purse or briefcase. The hosiery comes equipped with a small pouch located in the brief where the extra "leg" is concealed only to be removed in the event one of the "legs" being worn, in this case by your mom, develops a run or tear at an inopportune time. Mommy simply excuses herself, goes to the restroom, swaps legs and she's good-to-go thanks to her darling baby: you!
Spare Leg Pantyhose
The Suspicious Mom
For the paranoid mother - and really whose mother isn't? - I give you the Purse Security System. Now when your mother's watched too much local news and you find her clutching her handbag in a terrified manner when the two of you are strolling down Main Street in the middle of the day, you can give her a sense of safety with this vault masquerading as a purse. The Anti-Theft Purse is outfitted with a handcuff attached to a retractable chain inside the bag. All your mother has to do is remove the chain from her bag and lock the handcuff around her wrist the next time she ventures out into the big, bad, dangerous world. No doubt thieves will be deterred by your mom's no-nonsense approach to security. Incidentally, the purse is also a good gift if your mother happens to be the person entrusted with Coke's secret formula.
So there you have it, five unusual Mother's Day gifts for the woman who loves you more than anyone on the planet. This year why not give her something unexpected? Can't locate any of the patented items listed here? Then simply spend some time with her this May 11 and be sure to give her your undivided attention. It's an easy way to make her feel as special as she is.
Happy Mother's Day!