Great Invention Idea? Human Turd Scale!
Perhaps some of you have noticed my repeated references to weight related issues. That's because I have a sweet tooth. And while it is generally frowned upon for an addict to admit a love affair with an addictive substance, I am not afraid to declare my love and sometimes admiration for the white, powdery substance I get by the bag. No, not cocaine or heroin, something critics would have us believe is just as bad, in part because it is so easily accessible: white, refined table sugar. And that readers, is why I often lament on the difficulties of managing weight in a world sprinkled with pushers like Sara Lee, the corner baker and the candy machine down the hall!
Just like an addict, repeated attempts to kick my "habit" have all ended disgracefully often leaving me with pie on my face, literally! To this end, I have a friend who tries to calm my fears by reassuring me that something that doesn't weigh a pound cannot make me gain a pound. Fine! But what about the bag of chocolate covered nuts (they're filled with protein) I ate this morning? The one I forgot to weigh on my food scale? How much of that have I got sitting inside of me, threatening the needle of my bathroom scale?
If you've ever weighed yourself later in the day and wondered how much you should subtract for clothes and food you've already eaten that day then you'll immediately see the value in R.J. O'Neill's "Feces Scale." If not, then just subtract 5 pounds. FYI: This number has not been arrived at scientifically. Instead, it is based solely on my wishful thinking.
Anyway, little explanation of this patent is needed, as the title pretty much gives it away. United States patent 1493222 is for "A weighing device especially adapted for weighing feces as excreted." Simply put, the patent is for a toilet outfitted with a turd scale in the bowl. A person seats themselves on the toilet, does their "business," and just like stepping on a traditional scale, takes a deep breath and hopes the number that registers at the top of the toilet bowl does not betray the number they've been praying for. As for a sugar addict like me, the best I can hope for is that the number on the feces scale scares me straight and sends me running into detox!