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Great Invention Idea? Kill Bugs Fast with Radiation Gun!

Gnats, mosquitoes, field mice, ants, and all manner of creepy crawlies are just as interested in your summer activities as you are. In the past, the most effective protection against these tiny critters was to slather yourself with some deet or paraben laden lotion only to find you had traded one set of problems: bug bites, for another: cancer.

Well those days of compromise are over thanks to United States patent 6647661. Modestly titled, "Method and System for Exterminating Pests," the patent is really for a futuristic, Star Wars styled pest destruction system that promises to turn the user into something of a high-tech Dirty Harry!

Bug Be-Gone Ray GunBug Be-Gone Ray Gun

Using a microwave scanner, the system locates the offending vermin, narrows in, and zap!, the pest is exterminated by, according to the patent application, "lethal impact." Naturally, I suspect many of you will find this discussion of microwave scanners and lethal impact exaggerated at best, and suspect at worst. That is until you read further in the patent application and find that the lethal impact in question consists of a blast of guided, localized radiation up to 10 gigahertz, with a radiation capacity up to 100 kilowatts, for duration of up to 3 minutes! Essentially, what we've got here folks is a patent for something resembling a mini nuclear reactor. Talk about overkill - literally!

High-Tech Bug ZapperHigh-Tech Bug Zapper

There is however, more to this patent than meets the eye, the bull's-eye to be precise. The device is useful in locating and destroying pests, weeds and pathogens alike. I'm not sure how it distinguishes between these three very different targets, but lets just hope it can tell them apart from your basic mammal!

This year reclaim your summer fun with United States patent 6647661. When you do you'll rest assured that once again radiation is hard at work in ways you can't see or imagine, but with long-lasting effects and consequences for all. Sound familiar? Isn't it nice to know in this day and age that you can count on more than just runaway greed and zero accountability? Unfortunately, the "more" in this case is genetic mutations.

Elizabeth Valeri
Funny Patents Writer
InventorSpot.com

Comments
Apr 1, 2008
by Anonymous

Patent # 6647661- Bug Zapper

I'd rather zap them with a few MegaWatts than let them zap me with Nile Virus,malaria,etc. Don't you think?

Apr 2, 2008
by Elizabeth Valeri
Elizabeth Valeri's picture

Disease

Readers seem to agree that the risk of radiation exposure pales in comparison to the risk of disease .

Elizabeth Valeri
Patents Writer
InventorSpot.com

Apr 2, 2008
by Elizabeth Valeri
Elizabeth Valeri's picture

Dear Anonymous

Good point!  Thanks for reading. 

Elizabeth Valeri
Patents Writer
InventorSpot.com