Great Invention Idea? A Snot Sucking Gun!

Nowadays ,the word "automatic" appears in front of almost everything we touch. A brief stroll around the aisles of most stores reveals a culture that can no longer, is no longer, interested in doing things the old-fashioned way: manually. Disagree? Then take a look at United States patent 6471679 . This patent is for an automatic weapon, of sorts, one that sucks the snot right out of a user's nose!

Nasal aspirators, while not new, are traditionally used in the care of babies and small children. In a moment of what I guess was infantile envy, the inventor decided (hypothetically) that kids shouldn't be the only ones to enjoy the pleasures of having a dirty job done for them. Hence, the Portable Nasal Mucus Removing Device was born.

But how do you market the device to adult consumers who are apt to associate it with the needs of children? Easy, you simply make it look "grown-up." To this end the inventor shot a bull's-eye because nothing says adult like a gun (and maybe porn)! That's right. This Portable Nasal Mucus Removing Device looks just like a gun. Think of the fun you'll have using this device for a family-friendly game of "stick ‘em up and suck ‘em out!" And it's practical too. That's because you can use the device to scare away a would-be intruder, or emotionally manipulate friends and family who don't appreciate you enough by pretending you're contemplating ending it all right there in the bathroom.

Snot Sucking GunSnot Sucking Gun

A device that frees you from the unpleasantness of having to pick your own nose while letting you pretend you're a member of the National Rifle Association (NRA), seems pretty sophisticated to me.

Oh, and let's not forget all the psychological torture the Portable Nasal Mucus Removing Device promises to heap on your loved ones. Then again, catching a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror with the barrel of a "gun" stuck in your nose might just be the thing that finally forces you to reassess your life and put it in perspective. After all, how bad can your life be if you don't even have to pick your own nose? Therefore, I think you'll agree with me when I say, for these reasons alone this grown-up nasal aspirator gives consumers more bang for their buck!

Elizabeth Valeri
Patents Writer

Jan 9, 2008
by Anonymous (not verified)

Looks like

The same sort of thing as a solder sucker. Little more complex maybe...

Jan 20, 2008
by dar (not verified)

A super gift for milk drinkers

Rbt Cohen says,'...milk causes mucous... Long distance runners know. Opera singers know. Broadway actors and actresses are told not to consume milk or dairy products or their voices will become "phlegmy." Eighty percent of milk protein is casein, a tenacious glue and allergenic protein. Eat casein and you produce histamines, then mucous. The reaction is often delayed, occurring 12-15 hours after consumption. Few people note the ill effects because milk and dairy products represent 40% of what the average American eats (about 666 pounds per American per year), and these proteins are continuously eaten.By eliminating ALL milk and dairy for just one week, most people note the differences, which include better sleep, more energy, better bowel movements, clarity in thought, muscle, bone, and back pain relief. Oh, yes. NOTMILK means saying goodbye to nasal congestion.'

Feb 20, 2008
by Elizabeth Valeri
Elizabeth Valeri's picture

Looks like

One can only hope that since you stick this thing up your nose it is a bit more complex than a solder sucker!  But who knows?

Feb 22, 2008
by Elizabeth Valeri
Elizabeth Valeri's picture

For Dar

Thanks for taking the time to write such a thought provoking comment.