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Great Invention Idea? Toilet Headrest Steadies You in Your Hour of Need

Forehead Support ApparatusForehead Support Apparatus

In anticipation of my traditional tendency to overindulge at the holidays I picked up a copy of Gary Taubes’s, “Good Calories, Bad Calories: Challenging the Conventional Wisdom on Diet, Weight Control, and Disease,” in the hopes that I’d been right all along and that alcohol and chocolate are in fact the primary ingredients in the elixir of life. Unfortunately, that’s not quite the way Taubes sees it. But the human mind’s ability to justify anything has no boundaries, so I set my mind to justifying my bad, holiday habits.

Chocolate, of course, was easy. Sure it’s loaded with the refined sugar the good Mr. Taubes has deemed the root of all evil, but hey, recent evidence suggests the bad is easily balanced out by the good: dark chocolate is chock-full-of antioxidants! (I’m not sure there are enough antioxidants to counter the negative effects of all that sugar, but remember, the human mind can justify anything!) Sadly, alcohol consumption would prove to be a bit more difficult.

We've all heard that red wine is good for our hearts, but more recently we've learned that alcohol raises a woman's risk of breast cancer and is therefore, bad for her boobs. (Breast cancer threats notwithstanding, we must remember that her boobs have probably enjoyed the indirect benefits of alcohol consumption for years!) As for men who've had a bit too much of the sauce it would serve their partners well to keep some doughnuts and licorice in the house if they want to continue enjoying the kind of uninhibited and non-discriminating side benefits alcohol often provides. (Please refer to Use of Odorants to Treat Male Impotence .) But carnal pleasures don't offer the deep level of justification this blogger is looking for. So I turned to prayer - sort of.


Toilet Forehead SupportToilet Forehead Support

Many of us, no doubt, have found ourselves kneeling down before the porcelain god reflecting on the events that brought us there. Usually, these moments result in some sort of vow that our lives will be different if we can just get through the unfortunate experience at hand. For many, however, kneeling is not an option. Often this has nothing to do with irreverence, it is simply a practical concern for the balance and agility needed to navigate our way down to the floor in a highly altered state. For these people I recommend doing your holiday imbibing at public establishments equipped with U.S. patent 6,681,419, a forehead rest strategically installed against "a wall above a bathroom commode or urinal or beneath a showerhead ." Thanks to this handy little device you can steady yourself by simply resting your forehead in the appropriately bowing down position required of your shameful state.

Naturally, none of this will help when you finally have to peel yourself away from the wall and make your way out of the bathroom and back to your friends. Hopefully, however, the porcelain god will have smiled favorably on you so that you'll know, as your designated driver is wrestling your car keys away from you, that tomorrow is the start of a brand new day and a whole new you!

Elizabeth Valeri
Patents Writer InventorSpot.com

Comments
Nov 29, 2007
by Anonymous (not verified)

Well, I'm from Stuttgart

Well, I'm from Stuttgart Germany and i can tell ya that we have Bars that have this kind of gimmick since 15 year.

Nov 29, 2007
by Elizabeth Valeri
Elizabeth Valeri's picture

Stuttgart, Germany

Stuttgart, the land of Porsches, the Autobahn and toilet headrests.  Sounds like a good place to be!

Dec 3, 2007
by Rob (not verified)

same in CA

We've done this in Canada as well. Clark hall pub (eng pub above the book store) at Queen's university in Kingston, ON has had these for ages

Dec 3, 2007
by Stupid Photographer (not verified)

Head Wash?

So where the heck is the patent for the smart sanitary post-piss head washer?

Feb 20, 2008
by Elizabeth Valeri
Elizabeth Valeri's picture

It's Been Done

You Finns are so ahead of the curve!  Wink  Thanks for the photo!

Feb 20, 2008
by Elizabeth Valeri
Elizabeth Valeri's picture

same in CA

We envy your prescription plan and now this!  Go Canada!

May 7, 2008
by Anonymous

(No subject)

Jun 14, 2008
by Anonymous

i wouldnt put my head where

i wouldnt put my head where there are millions of germs from other people,..keep those wheels spinning.