I Have Seen the End of the World. It's Little and Blue

How do I state my thoughts on this without slitting my throat and writing it down using the crimson splashes of my own blood?  I'm not sure, but I'm gonna try.

Let's just say that I just watched the beginning of what I'm sure will be a massive advertising push for a film that will attempt to dominate the 2011 summer season.  I also believe that this event forecasts The End of Days.

I can happily say that Smurfs were a part of my childhood and I have fond memories of the little guys.  My Mom was an avid doll collector and jumped onto the Smurf bandwagon long before the animated series ever aired on Saturday mornings.

I thought some of the designs were unique, particularly the possibly drug-induced idea of the mushroom houses.  And I was a fan of the cartoon-though I secretly wished that Gargamel (did I spell that right?) would eventually catch a few and perform Saw-like experiments with them.

Yeah, I'm sick.

But this live-action film... set in New York?  WTF????

And the CG Smurfs look like... CG Smurfs.  While I understand that it's difficult to get little blue guys to look realistic, they pretty much sold me on the big blue guys in Avatar.

I hope I'm wrong.  I truly do hope that this film doesn't signal the Apocalypse.

But I'm afraid, my friends.  Very afraid.

I mean, c'mon.  Wasn't it evil enough to subject us to not one, but TWO Alvin & the Chipmunks films?!?!?

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