Introducing Café Colon, the Canned Coffee Enema
If your one of those people who says drinking coffee makes them go to the can, have we got a product for you! Café Colon, the coffee enema in a can, cuts out the middleman and gets right to the heart of the issue. Well, not the heart, but pretty darned close! Between you & me, I'm not a fan of the name "Café Colon" but BM Coffee is already taken and really, what CAN you call a canned coffee enema, anyway?
Café Colon (English website here) isn't your average Japanese canned coffee, which definitely should NOT be used in such a manner. The ingredients include 100% organic coffee beans, Gulf of Suruga deep sea water, rebirth sea salt, acidophilus generated extract, EM-X (a natural anti-oxidant extract) and oligo acid.
Café Colon was inspired by the theories of Dr. Max Gerson, who advocated coffee enemas as an ideal method of removing toxins and body wastes generated in the colon. Gerson's theories, formulated over 70 years ago, posit that a significant amount of waste is not promptly excreted and, instead, remains impacted in the bowel wall emitting a host of unhealthy toxins and poisons. Coffee enemas loosen impacted material while stimulating muscular contractions that work to expel the material. As an added bonus, you lose weight – supposedly.
Check out the illustrations above, in which a formerly impacted and distended large intestine can be rejuvenated into a supple, healthy, sparkling (yes, sparkling) colon through the use of Café Colon coffee enemas performed twice daily. This may prove difficult for those who work, attend school or aren't in rehab but hey – you want your colon to sparkle or not?
30 cans cost 8,820 yen (around $100) and 12 cans go for 3,654 yen (around $42)... at $3.50 per can, Café Colon is competitive with Starbucks, who are possibly less than thrilled to be mentioned in this context.
Café Colon sells complementary enema hardware at their site and detailed usage instructions are provided. As the How To images above show, the company's typical customer is a slim young lady who's all smiles at the thought of her deep encounter with a can of Café Colon.
As Dr. Hiromi Shinya (right), Professor of Surgery at Albert Einstein College of Medicine and “Pioneer” of Café Colon states, “Most of my friends are using Coffee Enema once or twice a day.” Kinda gives new meaning to Bugs Bunny's classic greeting, “What's up, Doc?”