Japanese Face Cream Made From Nightingale Droppings

If you've ever wanted to get shi*t-faced without drinking a drop, then ladies, we've got what you need. It's called "Uguisu no Fun", and I would have to agree... how much fun could it be to plaster your face with bird excrement?

"Uguisu" is the famous Japanese nightingale whose distinctive call adds an exotic note to any forest walk or mountain hike. The noble nightingale was and is appreciated for another, less obvious reason.

Somehow, and I can't even imagine how or why it first happened, nightingale poop became a beauty enhancer for women. No BS... well, at least not the kind that comes from bulls.

Uguisu no Fun's main effect - that being bleaching and exfoliating the skin - is a result of Guanine, a naturally occurring enzyme found in nightingale droppings. Kabuki actors and high-ranking geisha girls have always prized it as the best way to remove their heavy makeup while leaving their high-priced skin smooth and supple.

Word of the unusual yet effective face treatment has spread to other countries as well. "We have been trying the nightingale facial out and it has been an unbelievable success for treating tortured, dull and sun-damaged skin." So says Hari Salem, owner of Hari's in Knightsbridge, West London.

"The droppings, which are applied as a mask with Japanese white clay, are completely safe and treated under UV light to remove bacteria." They are also (supposedly) "fragrance free"... thank goodness for small blessings!

If you want to go to the source... no, not by following nightingales around, but by shopping in Japan, Uguisu no Fun is available at Japanese cosmetic stores though it's not cheep, er, cheap.

Odd though, if Japan really is concerned about the nation's dropping (sorry) birthrate, does it really need women slathering bird poop on their faces? Seems like hubby-san will be hard pressed to give his wife much more than a "peck" on the cheek... no matter how smooth it is. (product page & images via ChidoriyaWorld)