AKB48, Japan's wildly popular all-girl idol group, has a question for their legions of obsessed fans: “Won't you make a baby with me?” The answer is YES! OMG! YES!, and now they can... for just a small monthly subscription to the group's new ISP.
Call it a new low in creepy “otaxploitation” marketing but no doubt the outrageous concept will find more than a few willing “parents” in AKB48's crowded pool of overly fervent otaku worshippers. They'll go for it even if they have to borrow the required 1,480 yen (about $19) from Mom each month, and won't she be surprised to learn her socially isolated, basement-dwelling son is now a proud papa!
Here's how AKBaby works. Sign up to AKB48's new ISP service for 1,480 yen monthly and you're not only hooked up to the group's new Internet connection service, you now have free online access to AKBaby. Upload a personal photo (hey, not THAT personal) and select the photo of your preferred AKB48 mate. Now watch with amazement as the app gradually merges your pics together and morphs them into child mode. Print, laminate, and show off your new lovechild to your otaku pals... and do it all over again with a different group member next month!
Check out this official video featuring popular AKB48 member Yuko Oshima breastfeeding some anonymous child which could be yours... though wrong on multiple levels, we dare you to look away:
We're not sure if all 48 members of the Menudo-esque group are participating in AKBaby... we're not even sure if they SHOULD be: the sixteen members of the front-line Team A range in age from 16 to 25. Then again, who are we to judge considering the popularity of Teen Mom (not to mention “16 and Pregnant”) on American TV.
Give Japan and AKB48's management some credit, at least the group members aren't actually getting knocked up. In fact, they just might be pioneering the method by which everyone will be procreating in the future. No muss, no fuss, no mess, no tests... yeah, baby!