Jesus Body Diet Pills: For Those Who Praise The Lard


Jesus Body diet pills are now available in Japan, and not just on Sunday. As for the name, it isn't really as odd as one might think upon first glance. Consider this... have you ever seen a slovenly, overweight, obese Jesus? Of course not - He always looks like he just won a triathlon. The slovenly, overweight, obese general public would give their only son to look that ripped, but now they only have to pay a few thousand yen. Bargain, huh?

The actual product, marketed by Beauty Factory, is sold at a wide variety of retail outlets in Japan and is easily found thanks to prominent displays featuring spokesmodel Kaori Manabe.

The former "blog queen" of Japan flogs Jesus Body pills by flashing a bright smile and a two-fingered peace sign. She sure doesn't need the pills herself - do a GIS search on the lovely gravure model and YOU'LL be the one stuttering His name in vain.

Tear your eyes away from Manabe (if you can) and let's have a closer look at Jesus Body diet pills. The same Engrish copyeditor who named the product also added some helpful ad copy to the packaging, as follows:

  • New Discovery to be kept secret from others.
  • This discovery is a secret.
  • I can lay it down because I am correct.
  • We will not make you sorry.
  • Pleasure to have the real thing.
  • I really longed for this.

Umm yeah! Lay it down, yo! Ahem... also according to the packaging, the active ingredients in Jesus Body pills are Ultrasome and CinnulinPF. Let he who is without Cinnulin cast the first yen.

Beauty Factory isn't risking it all on the success of Jesus Body, they offer many other beauty aids at their site including the ever-popular Beach Hip Pack and Bust Queen. Buy 'em all... the power of Christ compels you - to look fabulous! (via Julie In Japan, BirdimusPrime and Current)

UPDATE: No one carries Jesus Body in the U.S., but if you're curious about funny and clever Jesus stuff, check out what Amazon has for Jesus here.

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