Man Sues Prizm Glasses for Making Him Lazy
In Texas today Martin Warburton is suing the makers of Prizm Glasses because, he says, they've made him totally lazy.
Prizm Glasses are specially designed so that you can lie down on the floor and read while flat out on your back. They work in the same way as a periscope, enabling you to look straight ahead, but view objects at a 90 degree angle.
Prizm Glasses are not limited to just reading. You can also work on your laptop or iPad, welcome people into your home, watch mail being delivered, as well as look at your feet. All without ever getting up.
"I bought my first pair six months ago and haven't stood up since," said Mr. Warburton, sacked out on the couch.
In those six months, Mr. Warburton has lost his job, his car, and his family. "I used to be an active, busy guy," he said. "Look at me now." Mr. Warburton blames Prizm Glasses for his troubles. This is not the first suit he has filed against them. He lost the first one after not making it out of bed.
Despite how Mr. Warburton feels, a cool looking pair of Prizm Glasses means you'll never again have to prop yourself up into an uncomfortable position. This may be good news for your back, as people are reporting relief from back and neck pain after just a few days of using Prizm Glasses.
"They're the future and they're here now," says Katie Bale of Vancouver. "It's not like the old days when you needed an extra pillow."
A spokesman for Prizm Glasses agrees, and says he envisions a time when we'll do everything lying on our backs. "Vehicles driven from a horizontal position are in the development stage now, and we're already seeing buildings getting lower, with ceilings much closer to the ground. And, of course, there'll be no more steps," said the spokesman.
Meanwhile, it's beginning to look like Mr. Warburton may not be making it off the couch for his court date this morning.