Motor Psycho: The Top Ten Motorcycles Of The People Of Walmart

Ever wonder where Eric Von Zipper and his Malibu Rat Pack bikers (and their juvenile delinquent descendants) shop for Made-in-China motorcycle accessories and bargain biker gear? Walmart, of course, and a brisk browse through the parking lot reveals their mutatnt motorbikes in all their faded glory.

Give these sleazy riders credit: with less surface area than cars or trucks, these People of Walmart Wild Ones manage to bring the bizarre!        

Too Mucho Macho

Could this be the ballsiest biker ever to shop at Walmart? Make no mistake, the macho is muy mucho on this biker's bike and he's got the nutz to prove it. One wonders what happens when this motorcycle's driver gives a biker babe a ride... then again, that's not an issue since he's “hardley duinit”

Hell's Littlest Angel

Dressed-up “gas” tank, engine and tailpipe notwithstanding, this is hardly a Harley though it might just impress the heck out of the other middle-schoolers. While real men take their hogs on the highway, this little piggy only went to Walmart.  

Hitting Bikini Bottom

SpongeBob SquarePants fans come in all shapes, sizes and ages, including those old enough to ride motorcycles. The above chopper should come in handy when the wind whips up the waves and the going gets a little choppy.   

Horns A'Plenty

Remember when “going Viking” meant a harrowing sea voyage to some distant shore where rape, pillage and rape? That was then, this is New Jersey, and you'll find a wide selection of pillage-ready clothing and accessories at low, low prices at Walmart!


Wow, Wyatt and Billy have really let themselves go... then again, after nearly a half-century on the road they deserve a little comfort. Such is the state of Captain America these days: in the words of Pink Floyd, they have become comfortably numb.     

Trike Or Treat

Two wheels good, four wheels bad, three wheels ridiculous! It's hard to tell whether this purple monstrosity is a rear-wheel-drive car or a front wheel drive motorcycle... either way, you couldn't pay us enough to ride shotgun.

Sandal Claus

Christmas is coming – riding a red scooter, flashing gang signs and wearing overly loose shorts. Maybe he should get back to the North Pole instead of flashing it at your local Walmart.      

Biker Chic

If this isn't a clever novelty backpack for bikers, than it should be – and dibs on the “chic” concept, slackers! More likely, this Walmart shopper simply doesn't want to ride alone. Shopping alone is OK though.    

Newborn To Be Wild

There's safe, and then there's People of Walmart safe... and this is the latter. We'll assume whomever occupied this child seat is inside Walmart shopping with mama. The alternative is just too awful to consider.

Chopper & Chopped

They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade but what if life gives you a Chrysler Neon? Considering the late and unlamented “no-power Mopar” soured a generation on Pentastar products, you don't take half-measures and end up with this... thing. 

Thanks and a tip of the cap as well to People of Walmart, the hard-working source of these all-too-real images you only WISH were 'shopped!