Need This? Hamster Shredder
Our Guest Blogger, Brandon Tanner, is a freelance composer and music teacher from Texas who has been involved in a variety of media projects. His strong determination and refusal to seek out a job that might actually offer steady, reliable income has been an inspiration to countless drifters across the nation. A badge of honor he displays proudly upon his broke, shirtless chest. He wanted to share some unisual invention with the readers of InventorSpot.com.
Here's his article:
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You're an entrepreneur who, for the past few years, has found success by creating and operating a black market tax evasion business. You know how to get things done and don't need to ask a lot of questions, which is good, because your clients are the type who value silence and tend to hire people with names like "Vinny".
With me so far? Good.
Suddenly, thanks to a loose-tongued secretary, you find yourself in a very compromising situation involving the IRS. They're coming for your records, and they're coming soon. There's no time to lose. You're going to have to destroy all the records of those books you've been cooking for the past two years, and fast. But this isn't the only crises flaring up in your face. You've just now noticed that your hamster cage, you know, the one you keep on the corner table just inside the door to your office, is in desperate need of fresh paper clippings. The thought of the smell alone is enough to make you slightly nauseous.
So there you stand, two dire problems that need your attention, and need it now.
In the old days, in an old world, such a nightmare scenario would have undoubtedly ended in tragedy. There just wouldn't be enough time to handle both situations. Its the kind of no-win situation that strikes fear into the hearts of the bravest of men.
But this isn't the old world, friend. This is the New World. The world of The Hamster Shredder:
I realize that the aura of gloriousness that surrounds this breakthrough-of-breakthroughs requires a few moments to fully take in. I'll wait.
...good to go? Alright then.
Illicit tax-evasion uses aside, this device should please the hamster-lover in all of us. The creator is one Tom Ballhatchet, who is apparently a design graduate over in Europe, and not at all a slick, scheming tax fraud artist. You can see this and other examples of his creations at his website: www.tomballhatchet.com Although there do not, sadly, appear to be any links to places where you can actually purchase your very own Hamster Shredder. Perhaps if enough people contact him, we might be able to convince him to mass produce these wondrous devices.
I think you know what you must do.