Need This New Invention? Gold Toilet Paper
This definitely comes under the heading "strange but true." Toilet Paper Man, a company in Australia, has actually created a useable roll of 22-carat-gold toilet paper. If you feel that your butt deserves the very height of luxury then this product is just the thing for you. This loo roll is going to set you back a bit though with a price tag somewhere north of $1.3 million.
The roll is actually a luxurious 3-ply and is billed as the most expensive toilet paper in the world, which it no doubt is. I mean, what other company is going to wind of so much of its resources into something that is meant to take care of an obnoxious ass?
The inspiration for this product came from a hotel in Dubai with gold toilets and other fixtures. It just seemed right that such a fine reading room would need to be kitted out with a fitting bit of stationary.
It has been alleged that when you wipe your tender tush with this "paper" that it will drop flakes of gold on the bathroom floor and leave then where the sun don't shine. Since the tissue has yet to be sold, no one is exactly in the position to give a first-hand account.
Of course, this is the sort of item that just lends itself to a ton of jokes, though most that come to mind first are too rude to mention here, so I will leave those to your imagination. However I was thinking of the plumber going in the remove the clog in the toilet and then being able to retire immediately. Or maybe a grizzled old prospector laying claim to your septic tank. And if you have an unfortunate accident you could give the term "fancy pants" a whole new definition.
Now, if using gold toilet paper just isn't enough for you, how about adding gold to your poop? Yes, I'm serious. You can purchase gold capsules to take. This completely unnecessary dietary supplement is also incredibly expensive, but it will fleck your excrement with 24 carat gold.
Not surprisingly, the gold toilet paper has not been sold. But when it comes right down to it, who among us can afford to (or would want to) literally flush money down the loo? I mean, I could retire extremely comfortably on the cost of a single roll.
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Laurie Kay Olson
Clever Problem Solvers