At the crux of understanding Patent# US 6832983, an Article of Clothing with a Novel Attachment Means are prepositions. Translated into practical terms, this refers to the fact that the user puts his or her clothing in, rather than on. In or on what does seem to be the operative question and the answer is anything goes; whatever body part might be available to the user at any given moment.
This invention relates to an article of clothing that includes extensions for insertion into a body cavity. It permits swimsuits, undergarments, and other types of clothing to be secured in place with a minimum of fabric. This idea represents a new way to hang clothing by snapping them into your genitals. This could come in handy if you hate hangers and/or wish your clothes were more experienced and/or annoying. Instead of dealing with that creeping thong, jam it in further. Tell it who’s boss; then it might behave.
In most societies, orifices are meant to be covered; that’s a given. The inventor claims that this invention fits right into the evolution of fashion and the purpose of garments. He says:
“The purposes for holding garments on one's body are to protect one from the environment, for modesty, and to conform to the dictates of fashion. And, of course, to avoid losing them altogether.”
The inventor claims that his swimsuits may be safer than currently existing options because it can be put on “without having to lift either leg, thus allowing one to minimize the risk of falling over.”
One observer noted that with such an arrangement there would be no need for the bathing suit to have a neck strap. The top part could be inserted directly into the nipple!
Other inventors have dared to enter the region of clothing and accessories. Consider “The Future of Sunglasses Is Not So Bright” and “The Paper Dress - History of a Ready to Tear Invention.”
Don’t know about this Article of Clothing with a Novel Attachment Means, but maybe if it came with vibrating bulbs, I might be tempted, or if there was some escape valve somewhere.