'Nose Celebrity' Tissues for High Status Sneezers

"Ultra Nose Celebrity tissues... just like sneezing into money!""Ultra Nose Celebrity tissues... just like sneezing into money!"
When is a tissue too good to be used as a tissue? When it's 'Nose Celebrity', a premium tissue paper from Nepia of Japan that's nothing to sneeze at and something to honk about!

My wife, who's Japanese, is active at a number of social media sites and has a number of Japanese online friends. One of these friends lost her job recently but is still trying to live The Good Life in Tokyo. According to my scoffing wife, her friend is complaining to her that she can't afford to buy "Nose Celebrity" tissues anymore. "Nose Celebrity??", I exclaimed, "There's got to be an article in here somewhere!"

Conspicuous consumption, now conveniently disposable!Conspicuous consumption, now conveniently disposable!
And so there is... I mean, that name! "Nose Celebrity"... it epitomizes the Japanese way of telling it like it is while creating an illusion at the same time. These tissues are far too good for run-of-the-mill, mediocre noses. But your nose? Nothing but the best to make it (and the rest of you) feel like a celebrity - or even better, a divinity! Yes, "Nose Celebrity" tissues are made with perfume of Verbena, an herbal concoction that was supposedly used to salve Christ's wounds following his crucifixion. Just the thing for exorcizing that devilish cold!

The prismatic window is made from real rainbows... OK, not reallyThe prismatic window is made from real rainbows... OK, not really
Now all this comes at a cost, obviously, and WHAT a cost! How about $14 per box for the limited edition "Ultra Nose Celebrity" - and they come in packs of TWO so you're looking at $28, Mr. Big Spender! And, they're sold out - so much for the much-ballyhooed Japanese economic downturn.

Ordinary Nose Celebrity tissues for ordinary peons, er, peopleOrdinary Nose Celebrity tissues for ordinary peons, er, people
Is it worth it? Well, if impressing your friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, heck ANYONE... just set a tastefully embossed box of "Nose Celebrity" (or "Ultra Nose Celebrity", if you can find it) on the coffee table before they come in - and hope fervently they don't have a sneezing fit mid-visit!

After they've left, suitably impressed, quickly return the box to the closet. Just like your Mom used to do with the "guest" bathroom towels. With luck, you can stretch out a box of these snobby snotrags for a couple of years! (via CScout Japan and Stippy)

Steve Levenstein
Japanese Innovations Writer