InventorSpot

This is the craziest thing I have seen yet. EEEWWWWWWW!

I'm going to order a few pairs of these instead of the bathroom
doorclip. If I hang a pair over the door, I don't think anyone
will try to enter my stall--even if the door is visibly broken.

This is absolutely ingenious! They will also make great Christmas
stocking stuffers. Thank you!

I see no need for anyone to mass produce these since people are more than capable of making their own. How lazy can people be? "Just do it."

You won't be able to patent these since numerous people have previously discovered these by accident. PLUS, what would happen if Michael Jackson gave them as gifts at his pajama party and asked the boys to try them on? The idea is NOT foolproof and I really think that some people will like the idea of tampering with them.

Before I place my order, I'd like to know if these are machine washable.

Cute AND practical. I just hope these are made of 100% cotton so that they are also comfortable to wear.

I am disappointed and disturbed over this product. The inventor really blew it! S/he smeared a brilliant idea by failing to meet consumers' expectations of quality. There is just so much more that could have been done to improve the finished product, but the inventor chose to give an aBRIEFiated, fake-looking version of the real thing.

I would recommend adding a large refillable depository, highly-concentrated front urine stains, and an attachment for a used Maxi Pad.

As presented, the invention is smudged. Get Real!

These MUST be made out of l00% cotton--if they aren't comfortable to wear, who would want to buy them?

There are many issues to discuss. I see some positive and negative outcomes of this product.

Michael Jackson could benefit from wearing these. He might even stop complaining that the boys were only after his money!

On the other hand, obsessive-compulsive disorders would be spending most of their time trying to wash out the stains.

There could also be adverse effects on typical housewives. They might realize that it isn't necessary to frequently wash underwear and the family members could suffer.

I would NOT recommend giving these as gifts since some people might be insulted from interpreting it as a personal weakness that they didn't make their own.

Wouldn't this just add to Michael's belief that the boys are only after his money? He could go into severe depression if he realized that what he used to allege as being true has become true after wearing these underwear.

You got it all wrong. Michael would be wearing a pair and so would each boy, only Michael would have a $100 bill in his fly per boy at the party and each boy would have two $50 bills in theirs. Then Michael can ask if anyone has change for a hundred. The game continues until there is a $100 bill in each boy's underpants and all of the 50's have been placed into Michael's underwear. The last boy to give and get change loses, so there should be a lot of grabbing.

Why wouldn't this be for the "anal-retentive"? If the retention problem is due, in part, to the person's fear of losing/wasting the excrement or it not being appreciated, then these briefs offer a way to reduce those fears and anxiety.

How dare you poke fun at people with severe psychological and/or gastro-intestinal disorders. Being "anal" is a real pain in the ass, and you have the splash/smear marks all wrong. You obviously didn't do adequate research since the product is flawed. Who leaves a perfect skid-mark on underwear?

Besides, these will never sell since there are many pairs in laundry baskets throughout the globe.

put these in the washing machine already?

I doubt that this would be an effective deterrent to crack addicts--they would see it as "easy money". The briefs would have to be insured.

If the emphasis is placed on "brief" instead of "safe", then it is, in fact, a "BRIEF" safe. It only briefly stays safe as once the Treasure Hunter realizes the stains are fake he can reach right in and take the loot.

If you are looking for a long-term safe, put a pair of these into your safety deposit box at the bank.

Are these for wearing or displaying?

PS These wouldn't deter theft.

it looks like it.

they could be Mary Lou's.

Yeah, that's it....people who sit on the cushion muffler and smell neutralizer would still have underwear like these. So, they basically sit on the cushion all night talking to their loved ones, but when they get up....whew. What a mess. There will be a price to pay for sitting on the deoderizer cushion. The money in the fly could be used to purchase more underwear and the process can be repeated.

The briefs pictured look like one of several pairs that are reported missing from the locker room of the College of Bagpiping. Anyone knowing anything about the missing underwear should contact any of the bagpipers. A fresh DNA sample can be matched to the DNA on the briefs and the owner subsequently identified and, hopefully, reunited with his long-lost band uniform undergarments.

Numerous people at the Eureka! Ranch have reported that their soiled briefs are missing. The briefs apparently are quite common following a long training session at the Eureka! Ranch. Since many of the partcipants see these briefs as good luck charms, they would like them back as soon as possible. Please call with any information on their whereabouts.

REWARD: You keep the money in the fly--the owners just want their "lucky" underwear back. NO QUESTIONS ASKED!

One pair of soiled men's briefs, outskirts of Cincinnati. Identity pattern and location of stain to claim.

PHONE: l-900-4FECES

We need about 100 new employees to meet the increasing demand for the popular "brief safe". Employees are paid a flat fee per "load" and are being hired for all three shifts or shits. Pick your own hours, based on YOUR internal clock.

Good pay, but shitty working conditions.

These are some of the funniest postings! Thanks all for making my day.

We have received an unconfirmed report of an overnight break-in at the Brief Safe Factory. Details are still sketchy, even shitty.

Initial reports indicate that the unidentified actor or actors took a shitload of raw materials as well as an underdetermined amount of finished Brief Safes.

State police have been notified, but refuse to confirm the report. According to a police spokesperson, "Our officers are still in the laboratory, taking care of their own business, and are not available for comment. Use common sense: HIDE your soiled underwear". The spokesperson ran off, apparently needing to join the other officers in the laboratory.

State police and Mounted police across the U.S. and Canada are warning citizens and aliens alike to guard their valuables, especially all soiled underwear. The apparent craze over the new "Brief Safe" has resulted in numerous break-ins and reports of stolen underwear.

Police are warning all people to place their underwear in a SAFE place (not a hamper) and to NEVER leave underwear with money in plain view.

Those are MY underwear and I want them back. PLEASE return them to my dressing room as soon as possible--I really need them to wear to tonight's show. They are my ego-boosters, and I doubt that I can appear with confidence if I don't have my favorite pair of underwear on.

I promise to vote in favor of your invention IF you return my underwear. No one has to know.....it can be our secret.

Thanks a load--and please hurry.

State police have issued a report that stolen brief cases have soared into the hundreds of thousands with no relief in sight. To date, not a single pair has been recovered, and the pair reported as found has been claimed by more than 69 people! Police will have to resort to DNA testing, which could take weeks or months.

Pending DNA results, police are encouraging victims to try to make a new pair.

I know for a fact that those are NOT Doug's underwear since I do his laundry. Doug eats a lot of baked beans at the Ranch, so his pattern is a more irregular splash and he keeps a wad of money in the fly.

I wish you people would find someone else to make fun of. Doug has a very high IQ and, I might add, is very good at bowel movements.

PS The Hawaiian shirts usually match the splash marks on his underwear. The doesn't like to wear shoes because he doesn't like to drip shit on them.

PRESS RELEASE:

Pop star and music sensation Aaron Carter has reportedly signed another shitty contract, but this time with great pleasure. Based on a reliable source, Aaron has signed a contract with the Brief Safe Factory to produce a one-year supply of men's BVDs with FANtastic swirls.

In a news conference, Aaron stated that his mother was always beating the crap out of him when he was younger, so he decided to just shit in his pants whenever he felt like it so that his mother would have to really scrub his underwear when doing the laundry. With the new contract, his mother has agreed to send Aaron's soiled BVDs directly to the Factory for sale on E-Bay. First come, first serve, so order NOW.

Aaron stated that he is always looking for ways to make more money since his mother spent most of what he earned, and the Brief Safes are a fun way to make loads of money...or, money out of loads.

Dear Bloggers,

I don't think you realize how offensive and damaging your poking fun at my Dougy is. Dougy was constantly teased as a child and the teasing continued into his adult years. It doesn't seem to matter how famous and successful--not to mention rich--that Dougy is; sadistic people like you still get their cheap thrills at my Dougy's expense.

Those are NOT Dougy's underwear! Dougy has always worn women's panties (the lacier, the better), so he doesn't even own a pair of men's briefs. Now that you know these are not Dougy's underwear, you have absolutely no legitimate reason to continue to tease him.

Please stop teasing my Dougy.

Thank you,

Mrs. Hall

PS Dougy has always had a slight problem with leaving
smudge marks on his underwear, and he is very self-
conscious over this. I'd appreciate it if you would
pretend to not know anything about this.

I LOVE these briefs and can't thank you enough. I was looking for another place to hide some of my money, and since Ashley usually wears men's briefs (and must have over 200 pairs), I borrowed a pair and wore them.

The rear stain happened by accident. The other day after eating lunch (my usual half-piece of lettuce leaf), I was called to the studio to shoot my new video. I didn't have time to throw up the lettuce, so it got into my digestive system. Later that day, I had some gas and felt a warm sensation around my anus, but ignored it since I was preoccupied on the set. When I went to return Ashley's underwear to her drawer, I saw the cutest little brown marking. Just imagine the possibilities after eating a whole leaf of lettuce...or l/2 of a raisin....or 2 peas!!!! This is a life-changing experience!

I A M C U R E D ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Ashley and I are looking into adding soiled briefs to our clothing line. They might be available for purchase on July 5th since we are eating baked beans on the 4th!

Brief Safe knock-offs have popped up around numerous major cities and are being sold as "designer" briefs but at a fraction of the MSRP.

Police advise consumers to be on the alert for sweatshop knockoffs and have posted 8 warning signs for detecting the fake "8th Wonder of the World" Brief Safe:

(1)
knock-offs: Made of a synthetic blend
brief safes: Made of 100% cotton
(2)
knock-offs: Regular marks
brief safes: More natural "irregular" pattern
(3)
knock-offs: Moldy, fruity, or cow manure-like smell
brief safes: Fresh bowel movement odor
(4)
knock-offs: Shit easily falls off
brief safes: Shit is impacted and hard to scrape off
(5)
knock-offs: Counterfeit $20 bills or Mexican pesos in fly
brief safes: U.S. legal tender, various denominations
(6)
knock-offs: Made in Mexico, China, or Iraq label
brief safes: Made in the U.S.A. label
(7)
knock-offs: Sold on the street or out of a van
brief safes: Sold in liingerie shop or fine store
(8)
knock-offs: Sell for $2 - 5
brief safes: Sell for $200 - 500

Consumers should use common sense: If it seems too good to be true--getting a feces stained pair of briefs containing money in the fly at that price--it probably isn't the real thing.

Due to the recent break-in and vandalism of our Brief Safe Factory, we are looking for people to make the Brief Safes in the comfort of their own homes. Employees must not be anal retentive and must not mind wiping their asses directly on their underwear and sending the finished product via the Brown Truck (UPS). You MUST be a self-starter and be willing to sign a waiver for rights to keep your finished product.

Since this is "piece-work", employees are paid based on the number of briefs submitted. All employees must include at least two genuine $20 bills in the fly, and will be paid a flat fee in the amount of $l.50 per completed brief safe.

Police have discovered what appear to be the female version of the popular "Brief Safe". An anonymous tip to 9ll dispatched police to the scene where they allegedly found more than 1,000 pairs of soiled women's "lacey" panties, each stuffed with wads of legal U.S. tender worth a combined total of over $2.6 million.

Police are calling the strange find a "toxic waste dump that is a serious environmental hazard" which may be the work of a "mad genious" or a typical affluent underwear hoarder. The only other clue found at the scene--which police refuse to confirm--is a men's left foot name-brand white tennis shoe with an unidentified brown substance on the shoe lace and sole.

Police are asking anyone seeing a man or woman wearing no shoes or only one shoe in the Cincinatti area to notify them immediately.

Toilet paper stocks just about got washed down the sewer following the rapid sale of the "Brief Safe". The craze has left consumers wondering if they will ever purchase toilet paper again. As one consumer reported, "I actually prefer making my own. Naturally, the first time I heard of this trend I was a little skeptical, but now I am making my own briefs and feel so relieved. I must say that I am quite pleased with the way things have been coming out."

A lot of New Product ideas and inventions are posted on UsVisionaries.com to find investors and distributors.

Carrie

Another pair of the very popular "Brief Safe" has been reported missing from an undisclosed famous inventor, who chooses to remain anonymous but wants his underwear back. The victim is well-known for his inventions and "Eureka! Ranch", as well as his high-status position as a judge on the ABC "American Inventor" show.

While police are not releasing the name of the victim, they stated that the victim is a male who wears female panties, often with lacy trim.

Anyone seeing a pair of white, lacy "Victoria's Secret" panties with a brown stain on the rear and possibly thousands of dollars hidden inside is asked to notify police immediately. At this time, police are not sure if the motive was theft or an underwear fetish, but are continuing their investigation.

An inside informant at the Eureka! Ranch has reported that Doug Hall "is furious" over the allegations and insinuations that he not only wears women's lacy panties, but that he has also been hoarding cash in women's "brief safes" at an undisclosed location near the Eureka! Ranch.

When an Associated Press reporter tried to get a statement from Mr. Hall, he "freaked" and said he's "seen and heard enough--NO. NO. NO." The reporter persisted in interviewing Mr. Hall, asking if the soiled underwear are his. He responded, "I shouldn't even dignify that by answering. But, NO, NO, NO--those are not my underwear. Think about it: Have you EVER heard of any shit coming from a Mensa member?"

When the male reporter asked Mr. Hall if he'd be willing to show him what kind of underwear he had on to put the rumors to rest, Mr. Hall replied, "There is a time and place for everything. I already have an engagement tonight at the Ranch, but I'm sure I could squeeze you in tomorrow morning if you'll meet me at Brokeback Mountain."

A press conference may be scheduled some time next week.

Brief Safe Factory attorneys are denying allegations that their company's "Work From Home" opportunities were nothing more than a money-making scheme and rip-off.

The Factory offered $l.50 per pair of soiled briefs, but the work-from-home employees were required to submit the finished product with $40.00 in each fly. Employees apparently misconstrued the $l.50 for $l50.00 and are considering a class-action lawsuit.

Denying the allegations, the attorneys stated that the work-from-from conditions were clearly specified in their ad and anyone who sent $40 with their soiled underwear did so voluntarily and the company thereby does not have to return any money to anyone. One attorney is quoted as saying, "Anyone who hopes to get $150.00 for a pair of shitty underwear must be NUTS. It is amazing how naive or stupid some people can be."

People are urged to use common sense when responding to any "Work From Home" opportunity and to be wary of any "opportunity" that requires you to send money upfront or promises "quick cash" for a common product in an already-saturated market.

Fans surrounded the Brief Safe Factory after someone leaked information that Aaron Carter was riding with his mother to drop off a trunkload of his shitty Brief Safes.

When the limo driver opened the trunk to remove several laundry baskets full of Aaron's soiled briefs, the fans stormed the trunk and grabbed at the chance to get a pair of the cherished briefs.

According to one fan, "I was trying to get closer when I felt something wet but warm hit my face. From the smell, I immediately knew it had to be some of Aaron's shit. I AM NEVER GOING TO WASH MY FACE AGAIN!!!!!"

Other fans saw the briefs flying through the air and shit falling out, landing on the heads of the fans. Several elated fans had shit in their hair and on their faces, and were screaming in delight.

Aaron has been trying to eat the right kinds of food to give a more FANtastic brief design and now prefers to be called "Aaron Farter".

I never knew there were so many obsessed with shit.

Try to focus.

A brief safe has been found clipped to a public restroom stall somewhere near Eureka! Ranch. While the money has been removed, the briefs were "double-loaded" and highly contagious.

Initial DNA results reveal that the feces found in the underwear and smeared on the walls and floor of the public restroom belong to two people, an unidentified barefoot male and a female accomplice. When asked if police have ever seen anything like this before, Detective John Can responded, "Not in a public restroom in this type of [undisclosed] facility. However, I've seen smaller feces messes in mental institutions, and much worse feces smears in ABC studios and after Mensa conventions." Police were able to extract a toe print from the feces and believe the barefoot male suspect may still be walking around with feces on his feet.

Police are baffled by the bathroom doorclip, which does not have any identifying marks on it. It appears to be a cheap sweatshop product, perhaps made in China or Indonesia, and it has been sent to the crime lab for analysis.

Although police have two "persons of interest" in this case, they are continuing their investigation into a possible smear campaign and framing.

The first "crack" in the brief case is not what the police had been hoping for. Detective John Can released the following statement but was not available for further comment:

The police department has found and put under surveillance
one brief safe, which does not appear to be related to any
of those reported missing. We believe the briefs in
question belong to a street-level drug dealer who got so
scared that he shit his pants and abandoned or hid the briefs
in the alley. There is a large sum of money inside the briefs
as well as an undisclosed amount of "crack" cocaine, worth
thousands of dollars on the street. If and when the perpetrator returns to reclaim his loaded underwear, he will be arrested and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
We'll put him where he belongs--in the tank.

The crack in the briefs is no cause for public alarm, although
police do admit that they are per-turd over the incident.

another shitty Father's Day gift.