I hate to be cynical, but how long does the honeymoon last, anyway? Is
everyone supposed to be blushing, and giggling, and cooing, and making
kissy-face uncontrollably in public just because it's Valentine's Day?
C'mon, most of us are actually suffering from some major heartbreak on
Valentine's Day, just like most other days.
And face it, anyone can send a mushy card and a rose or a heart box with a bow on it.... But there are those of us who are dying to stab the objects of our love in the heart, metaphorically speaking. So, I took it upon myself again this year, to find some Anti-Valentine gifts that really show how deeply you love.
Anti-Valentine Gift No. 1: You Suck Italian Charm
Why pull any punches? She may not put it on a charm bracelet, but the shock effect of just seeing this charm and knowing how you really feel will be more than worth the $8 you spend for it. A Pugster product made of stainless steel, available at Amazon.com.
Anti-Valentine Gift No. 2: Hang Man Purse/Bag
When you care enough to send the very best, this little cupid's all very nicely handmade. The Heart Man's been roped by the Hang Man, for good. And you are grateful!
The Hang Man Purse is all handmade, and Cupid's 8" body hides a 6.5" opening (under the diaper) and his poor heart is a 4" change purse. Bow and arrow are waterproof. At Etsy.
Anti-Valentine Gift No.3: Holy Moly Hand Soap
He can confess and clean his hands at the same time.
Holy Moly Hand Soap is available from Donkey Products.
Anti-Valentine Gift No.4: Spicy Steak Knives Set
This steak knife set is designed by Carlo Contin and made in Itally. On the surface, because they're red, the knives seem to be an elegant Valentine's Day gift. But who gives a set of 6 knives for Valentine's Day?
Available from Legnoart.
Anti-Valentine Gift No.5: Guess What Thongs
Nothing like letting him know your news in a limerick:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Pretty soon you'll
Have herpes too!