The Numi High-Tech Toilet: For A Royally Superior Pooping Experience
Have you ever sat at your toilet and wished that it were more comfortable or smart, for that matter? I was once at a family function when I happened to pass by a bathroom door that was slightly ajar. As I was walking past, I heard a startled cry and a resounding splash follow. I stood by the door, unsure what to do but barged in when I heard a small voice cry out a meager, "Help!"
It was my tiny, three-and-a-half-year old niece, who had fallen into the toilet bowl while trying to take a quick pee. At that time, I was horrified because imagine how gross and dirty that toilet bowl water must've been. But looking back nowadays, that memory draws out a chuckle or two, considering that she didn't get any infections afterwards.
Anyway, my point being, we all could benefit from having a smart toilet that can watch our backs sometimes. So when I heard about the Numi, I was intrigued. More so because it carries a hefty $6,390 price tag.
So what makes the Numi toilet so special? For one, it opens and closes automatically. That's right; there's no more need to touch that toilet seat yourself because this thing does it for you. If you hate having to sit your butt down on a freezing cold toilet seat, then the Numi addresses that too, because it comes with a temperature-controlled seat so your buns are spared the sudden temperature shocks. (It also has a foot rest to warm your feet, too.)
It comes with a touchscreen remote and it comes with a lot of other extra functions as well. For one, it can play music. Imagine what a luxury it must be like to take a dump and have some classic Sinatra playing in the background.
Aside from that, it's got an integrated bidet with adjustable controls for temperature as well as water pressure. Choose from several different spray configurations until you find one that suits you the best.
Curious? Check out this promotional video for the Numi:
The panel is illuminated so you can easily toggle it when you wake up for some midnight relief. The Numi also bids farewell to that toilet stench as it comes with a deodorizing function that literally sucks the air out from the bowl while passing it through a charcoal filter.
Ah, the (sometimes nonsensical) luxuries that money can bring.