I admit it, there's nothing new, interesting or unusual about lavender, pumpkin pie, doughnuts and licorice. So why are these four unremarkable items the focus of my article today? It is because Alan R. Hirsch of Chicago, Illinois , has figured out how to combine these ingredients in an innovative way - a way that'll put a smile on even the most cynical holiday face.
My mother says the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well, I don't know about all that, but thanks to Mr. Hirsch I do know the way to my heart is through my man's stomach! United States patent 5,885,614 was issued on March 23, 1999 to Mr. Hirsch for the "Use of Odorants to Treat Male Impotence. " That's right, the scents of the season are what really get a guy going! What can I say? ‘Tis really is the season to be jolly!
The patent has a most noble goal, "to provide a method of stimulating the male sexual response and inducing penile erection, that is non-invasive and easy to perform. Another object is to induce normal male sexual arousal. "
If this sounds too good to be true consider this: It was found that the administration of odorants for inhalation by a male individual having a normal olfactory ability effectively increased penile blood flow from about 2-40%, and enhanced sexual arousal. That's right, 2 to 40%!! Now those are results worth writing home about! So forget the Viagra and cancel the cable television porn channel and head on down to your local bakery with your man if you really want to get off! And don't worry that all those baked goods and candy for your man are going to have the opposite effect on you - diminished sexual arousal due to your man's sudden excessive weight gain - remember, the key word in this patent is "odorant." All your guy has to do is smell the stuff and voila!
Naturally, all these sexual enhancement aides neglect a woman's need for arousal, or worse, assume she'll be aroused just because her man is, so I'm here to offer all you gals my own un-patented method for female arousal: add up all the money you'll save by giving up Viagra and cable TV porn and treat yourself to something nice! Now that's what I call science's happy little domino effect.
Thanks to Image Sources:
Dining Couple in Silhouette: www.uta.edu
Glazed Dougnut: www.justinpaintings.com
Pumpkin Pie: www.tonidunlap.com