Pickup Hiccups: The Top Ten Trucks Of The People Of Walmart
Vehicular manslaughter? At my Walmart? It's more likely than you think... assuming its written “vehicular man's laughter”. These truckin' weird entries in the Walmart Wagon Wall of Shame will have you wishing for a price rollback right into the car crusher.
Well, we knew Bart Simpson had to grow up eventually but old habits are hard to break, amiright? Prospective companions for this truck-drivin' dude's last decade can at least be assured he will not bite... that still leave a whole LOT of nasty stuff to look forward to.
9) The Van Before Time
Looks like someone Tri'd to 'ceratops the “Jurassic Parking” Volvo from our original post, using a bigger, uglier GMC van (mauve? really??) and a hot Mesozoic of toy dinosaurs. Call it Littlefoot meets Leadfoot.
8) Corvette Bummer
Redneck 'vettes don't come much redder than this abomination; the Heartbeat of America just demanded a quintuple bypass. At least the front end appears to be a Chevy so that's good. On the other hand, the owner'll be getting twice as many recall notices so that's bad.
7) Na'Vi Blues
Some folks like to use a truck as their avatar, others go full-Avatar on their trucks. This driver went full-Avatar, man. Never go full-Avatar.
6) Bears Repeating
Yikes, even the “Free Candy” van looks more alluring then this dark & disturbed pickup machine. If those stuffed bears could speak, you know they'd be whispering “Call the police!”
5) Land Shark
Hey, the ocean called, they're running out of YOU! And by the way, if this van's rockin', then all's well in the owner's world.
“Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz”... something tells us you didn't think your clever plan all the way through.
3) Coal Miner's Shopper
“Hi honey, just stopped off at Walmart to get some Christmas gifts for the kids... yeah, I know they were really bad this year... don't worry, I've got it all worked out.”
2) The Nanny
Whew, Fran Drescher has really let herself go. Anyone who finds the above tableaux disturbing should take solace in the fact the goat wasn't tied to the rear bumper.
1) Rats To Remain Silent
Dodge doesn't brag about how many dead muskrats their RAM truck beds will hold but they can now, 'cause this driver filled his to the legal limit... and in Minnesota, that's a whole lotta dead muskrats. How'd you like to be parked next to this truck on a hot summer's day? Thinking positively, at least it isn't raining.
Thanks and a tip of the cap as well to People of Walmart, the hard-working source of these all-too-real images you only WISH were 'shopped!