Potent Potables Use Proteins To Pinpoint Your Previous Position
Turns out that your beer is following you. As researchers in Salt Lake have discovered, where you drink your drinks has an impact on what they leave behind in your body, and that might just help police and other, less-licit government agencies find out where you been and how much you party.
As it happens, everything we consume contains water. Shocking, right? Since we're essentially just fluid-filled meat sacks, it's not really a surprise that everything we put in our food-and-beverage holes is going to contain some percentage of the clear blue stuff we call water.
Drinks, of course, contain the most water overall, especially drinks like, say...water. Beer and soda are also excellent examples of high water-content beverages, and it's these kinds of liquid libations that may help pinpoint where a person has been and just how much they've been getting their freak on.
Here's how it pans out. When good old H20 gets into our systems, our bodies give it a good kick right in the "2" and split the thing up into its constituent parts, Hydrogen and Oxygen. Our bodies then take these two elements and use them to create proteins, some of which are stored in our unruly mops, curly locks, and Vanilla Ice inspired flattops.
As it turns out, not only does beer from every microbrewery taste just a little different, but it contains isotopes of both Hydrogen and Oxygen that are specific to the water supply in that region. These isotopes, for those that like science, are not just a reference to the Springfield baseball team, but are actually variants of common elements, such as Hydrogen, that have differing numbers of neutrons. This makes them heavier or lighter than average , but without changing their atomic number or basic elemental properties.
When these isotopes are used to make beer or soda and then gleefully imbibed, they leave behind their distinctive weight properties in the proteins of human hair. Since hair grows at a predictable rate and in a sensible pattern, analysis of hair strands could map out not only where a person had been doing their drinking, but approximately when.
This could be of benefit to law-enforcement agencies seeking information on a victims' whereabouts before a murder, or checking up on criminals that aren't supposed to be leaving a certain geographical area, even for a really good lager.
So though you may not remember where you've been or what you've done after one of "those nights", it turns out that your hair does.
And it's embarrassed for you, dude.