Safety Piercer, For All Your DIY Body Piercing Needs

Everyone knows it hurts having your ears pierced or getting a body piercing but at least you can shut your eyes or look away while the professional piercing technician does the deed quickly, cleanly and neatly... and why not, THEY don't feel your pain.

Using the Safety Piercer for such purposes effectively combines the roles of the piercer and the piercee. This could be problematic due to that old bugaboo, the natural tendency to avoid causing one's self pain.

Even more inconvenient, heavy drinking and hyperventilating before performing the act (or acts, in the case of multiple piercings) in the comfort of your home scream-a-torium may lessen both the pain and the aim. 

Let's assume you're a brave teetotaler and the nearest earring emporium or body piercing shop is dozens (or hundreds, possibly thousands) of miles away. You've ordered the Safety Piercer online from Rakuten, Japan's largest internet mall, and Mr Postman just delivered it. Open the package and check it out!

The Safety Piercer features a titanium-plated medical stainless steel spike mounted in a lightweight, spring-action case. The device is designed so solo body piercers can perform the operation one-handed, presumably while looking in the mirror. What could possibly go wrong?

Nothing, of course, because you've diligently read the included SUCCESS PIERCING manual (above, right). Never mind the fact that it's written in Japanese, a picture's worth a thousand words regardless of what lingo they're written in. When you're done and presumably before you pass out from blood loss, employ the included ball & stud combo (a wide variety of choices are available) to keep the self-inflicted wound from healing and get a prescription for antibiotics, stat.

Kudos to Jonelle Patrick for stumbling across a rack ("no, not the rack!") of these miniature masochism machines and having the foresight to snap a pic. Then again, she's been in Japan for a while and stumbling across photo-worthy weirdness is part & parcel of the daily routine.

Sep 7, 2013
by Anonymous

I will say this that this is

I will say this that this is a horrible idea and product. Real body piercing is done with needles and is less traumatic than shoving a spike into your body. This is how most ear piercing is done.