Scare the Kids This Christmas with Asia’s Oddest Amusement Parks
Sick of all that whining when you throw the kids in the SUV and transport them to another captive holiday season at Aunt Frida’s house? This year, why not ensure they will be begging to return to the relatives’ fruitcake and fake Christmas tree in 2008 by giving them an Asian tourism adventure this year they are sure to never forget? (Though they may spend thousands of dollars in professional counseling giving it their best effort).
Asian innovation has taken the amusement park industry by storm in recent years, and here are a couple of my personal favorites which have made it on my “Places To See Before I Die” list, because while I am fairly certain about an afterlife, I struggle to grasp the existence of these real world locales.
Tis the Season in Vietnam
It almost seems unfair that Jesus has yet to receive His own amusement park, however when you check out Buddha’s oasis in Vietnam, suddenly you realize that inequality in deity rights is okay in certain circumstances.
Suoi Tien Park, the world’s first Buddhist-themed amusement park, is basically a water slide haven with some foresight regarding Eastern religion afterlife ideals thrown in. Only at Suoi Tien can you visit not only “heaven”, but the “torments of hell” as well. If you feel that eternal damnation isn’t worth your admission price alone, don’t worry – Suoi Tien brags in their brochure that their experience includes bat caves with innumerable bats, mid-air cycling over a crocodile farm…”which cause fearful feeling for tourist.”
I don’t know about you, but I am booking my vacation and spending Christmas with the Vietnamese this year, hands down.
Spend a Korean Christmas in Love Land
Maybe not exactly one for the kids, but if you happen to find yourself in South Korea and want to steal away for an um, romantic getaway, you can check out Love Land. I assume this park may have been brainstormed by a teenage boy (or several), who after feeling repressed from hiding all that pornography from their parents decided that one day their favorite extra-curricular would be liberated in the form of a full-fledged theme park.
Love Land features larger than life golden sculptures in compromising positions, and an exhibit called “most big penis.” (Yes, there are photos available. No, I am not going to post them.) Ever innovative, brochures explain the park was originally designed for honeymooning newlyweds as a sort of orientation as to how to work the romantic side of marriage.
With all this being said, perhaps it is best to stay put at grandma’s house this holiday season.