We've all seen the commercials. Miracle pill "blank" will cure "horrible ailment X" but... There are always side effects, and they usually sound far worse than whatever it is that the drug is prescribed to cure.
Many of us know this firsthand. I'm a walking ball of cholesterol. Hell, if you cut me I'd bleed sausage grease and egg yolks. As such, I'd also be quite delicious.
But, getting back to the point... I take a certain well-known cholesterol reducing medicine. And it helps. But along with it come the following:
1. Muscle pain
2. Darkened urine
4. Stomach pain
8. Stuffy nose
When I look at this list, I have to be positive. Though I have many of these complications, I'm also alive. Being alive is generally a good thing in my book.
Initially I was going to write about actual drug side effects and comment on how bizarre and scary they can be. But while researching this, I stumbled on tons of commentary and commercial parodies that show how entrenched in social consciousness these side effects can be.
It's a global phenomenon, a reaction to the terror that we all feel when faced with having to take something to cure what ails us-all the while knowing that something else is going to happen as a result. And, like troopers, we laugh in the face of our fears and plow forward with our lives.
We're gonna start off with what I consider to be a prime source of social commentary: stand-up comedy.
1. Mark Moseley
Yep. That's frighteningly accurate. I particularly like the lizard-baby comment.
Now we're gonna move into the fake ads-at least most of them are fake. The real ones are what makes this so scary...
This is just... crazy.
There's something about the claymation guy with insomnia that makes me laugh until I cry.
I'm glad that my arthritis medicine doesn't do stuff like this... Yeah... I have arthritis along with my high cholesterol. I'm quite the catch. Just ask my girlfriend...
This ad starts out great-then gets just plain disturbing. Warning: not for the faint of heart.
Sporting "gene powered" efficacy, this real ad for E-Trade is awesome.
Anything with the phrase "hotdog fingers" is a winner in my book.
I'm on the fence on this one. I like it... and I have to admit to a certain amount of glee when the guy gets hit in the face with the pizza. But there's something missing. I'm not sure what it is, however.
7. Insane Soda Ad
Yeah, I know. This isn't medicine. But it does apparently have side effects. I'm not sure if this is real or what. I don't speak Japanese.
I think reverse vomiting could be the cure for world hunger...
I'm surprised this doesn't actually exist. I'm serious. Just the greed of large corporations would skyrocket this product into a cash cow the size of Idaho. That's a big damn cow. Not as big as Texas, but still damn big.
This is by far my favorite. The way the ad copy rolls off of this guy's tongue is brilliant. It's a drug that's marketed for only cool people and children-and it looks like candy.
See. Pretty convincing in a used car dealer sort of way...
I find it refreshing that we, as a species, can mock something as disturbing as "anal leakage." It gives me hope that we're not all doom and gloom. And it shows that laughter is truly the best medicine.
Yeah... I know... cliché... But, c'mon... It's been a long day and I'm off of my meds.