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Stuck For A Date? Grow Your Own Boyfriend

If you've been having trouble finding a date lately, maybe it's time to consider growing your own boyfriend. On the other hand, maybe it isn't. According to the instructions on the packet, you "just add water for the perfect man".

A word of advice: if you're planning on a Friday night out with your new man, be sure to put him in water no later than Tuesday, as it takes 72 hours before he's fully grown (and they say women take a long time to get ready). Of course if you prefer your men on the shorter side, Wednesday should just about do the trick. But be careful with this. Anything less and it could look as though you're dating someone under age. Also someone made of plastic.

Growing your boyfriend does have its advantages. He doesn't snore, smoke, or argue, and you'll never have to clean up after him. On the downside, you'll be doing all the driving. Personally, I recommend the two pack grow a boyfriend. If things don't work out with the first one, simply ditch this guy and grow another.