Talking To Plants and Getting Answers: Great idea?

For those among us who enjoy conversing with plants and other green things (aliens and men little and large) Patent # US 7113911, the Voice Communication Concerning a Local Entity might be just the thing. Issued in September of 2006, it promises for the future of telephone lines everywhere a dialogue such as this:

“I am a plant. How can I help you?”



One can only speculate as to what kind of conversation could take place. After all, what type of questions can you politely ask a plant? Have you had surgery on your leaves? They are so firm and green and upright. Are the seedlings doing okay? Are they all on their own now in gardens of their own?

The patent explains:
“The voice service thus acts as a voice dialogue proxy for the plant and gives the impression to the person... that they are conversing with the plant.”

A local entity without its own means of voice communication (in this case, the plant) is given the semblance of this capability by a beacon device, which transmits contact data associated with the entity over a short-range communication link. Interaction is actually with a “voice service” and not with the plant, but then again, you knew that, didn’t you?

If a dumb device will make you happy, you could save yourself the trouble and expense of buying this thing and spend some time instead in the local tavern. If you really want to hear dumb things being said, there’s probably no better place than there, particularly during ‘2 for 1’ Happy Hour, whenever that is.

Many inventors have explored voice communication. Consider Boomer Babe’s piece, “Hearing Aids Just Got Cool and Sexy” and Michelle’s “Robots: The Image and Reality 2” .