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Temporary/Portable Nuclear Fallout Shelter: Your Own Little Safety Oasis!

If you've listened to the news lately it might seem as though we are on the brink of another arms race. Oh sure, we've made some progress with North Korea, for now, but what about the rest of the world? If worrying about escalating international tensions is keeping you from making good on your new year's resolution to embark on a diet and fitness program that will help you transform yourself, I've got a patent that could put some of your fears to rest - temporarily - just long enough so that you can get up off the couch and into the gym.

Perhaps Viktor Hampel was a child of Cold War air raid drills that taught him to seek shelter underneath his school desk. Or maybe, back in the eighties, he looked into the crystal ball that was the Soviet war in Afghanistan and saw the future, one in which man would continue to devolve in a world that was fast becoming more dangerous, and decided, right then and there, that he needed to save his butt! Of course, I have no idea what motivated Hampel, but in 1983 he was granted United States patent 4625468 for his Temporary/Portable Nuclear Shelter.

Temporary/Portable Nuclear Fallout ShelterTemporary/Portable Nuclear Fallout Shelter

The shelter resembles an inflatable tent that promises to deliver, "Significant, life-saving protection from airborne, radioactive (fallout) particles due to nuclear explosions, nuclear reactor accidents, and other releases of radioactive particulate." Furthermore, in his application Hampel assures us that the portability and lightweight construction of his shelter makes it "suitable for low-cost mass production." I guess some of us might find it reassuring to know we can buy our radioactive protection from a display bearing a yellow smiley face at Wal-Mart!

The shelter is small and temporary, so it won't help you much in the event of a global catastrophe, as you'll eventually need people in HAZMAT suits to transport you and your little shelter to a radiation-free zone. However, if your disaster is more localized Hampel's portable shelter might just be the thing for you. It's smooth exterior allows radiation dust particles to slide off in an effort to minimize direct or indirect exposure to radiation. There are also several "sealable pockets suitable for the storage of refuse and human waste during occupancy," so you won't have to sh*t your pants when you see the mushroom cloud in the distance!

Nuclear OasisNuclear Oasis

Now that you know it might actually be possible to get effective life-saving protection at an affordable price you can rest assured and turn your attention back to more immediately pressing matters, like your new year's resolution. Who knows? If they drop the bomb Mr. Right might be the one lurking underneath one of those HAZMAT suits. Consider it an updated, if twisted, knight-in-shining-armor fantasy. Or maybe all the radioactive fallout has suddenly made you much more popular with the less mutated gals. Either way, it's time to get up off the couch and make good on your new year's resolution because the end of civilization may never come, but bikini season is just around the corner!

Elizabeth Valeri
Patents Writer InventorSpot.com



Comments
Feb 8, 2008
by Doc (not verified)

Temporary/Portable Nuclear Fallout Shelter: BEWARE

Do not be fooled by this product. It amounts to a trench covered with a tent. It will not protect you from radiation from the top. Particles will "slide off" then collect and concentrate at the base. Radiation from the surrounding area will still pass through the top and penetrate the occupant of the trench. To properly protect yourself, several halving thicknesses of shielding material must be placed over the trench. Further, this shelter would offer no blast protection and unless the walls of the trench are properly, it will likely collapse and kill the occupant if it were close to the blast. Otherwise there would be ample time to get to PROPER shelter, such as a municipal fallout shelter or a basement shelter prepared at home. Buyer beware!

Feb 20, 2008
by Elizabeth Valeri
Elizabeth Valeri's picture

Bubble Protection

I can't believe anyone would think this thing would be much help in the event of a nuclear disaster.  I guess we are always looking for ways to survive, or at least feel empowered in the most powerless of situations.

Feb 20, 2008
by Elizabeth Valeri
Elizabeth Valeri's picture

I'm With You Doc!

Thank you for reading my blog and for posting such a thorough analysis of the patented article. When I discovered this it seemed to me to belong to the "in the event of a nuclear occurrence, cover your windows with masking tape to keep the fallout at bay," category of nuclear disaster preparedness.

Oct 7, 2008
by Anonymous

mmmm

as an army vet i can see the military apps for ingividuals that may have support in contact it def has atvantages over masking tape it might be fun to try and laugh at it but i guarentee if you see the mushroom cloud and one of those was near by you would be more than happy to try it for that matter you would probably crawl under a rock if you could! so just keep on laughing maybe that will make it all go away while your trying to dig a hole with your bare hands- ever been in a mortar attack ill bet not you should see the big bad dudes scrable for a hole to jump in its not so funny when the shit hits the fan

Dec 3, 2008
by Anonymous

wow

If there was a Nuclear bomb dropped,
1. You would not have enough time to dig a hole for this thing
2. Suppose you have bad-ass digging skills and you make this thing, the blast would send this thing flying into Timbuktu and with no tent to protect you, you die from radiation overdose
3. If you bought this I would make fun of you
4. It is recommended that you stay in shelter from the fallout for at least 3 days (and if oyu can 2 weeks) this thing cannot hold 3 days worth of supplies (or longer) and you.
5. You will never own a car as cool as the Pope mobile.